Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
I would like to be able to admire a man's opinions as I would his dog - without being expected to take it home with me.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.
There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet.
I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back of your dress?
I have little brothers and sisters, and they annoy me a lot, but I love them so much because they're so smart and witty.
The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.
I say funny stuff in my lyrics to make people laugh, but it's all in the seriousness of the music. I'm just being witty.
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
Critchley and Webster’s fierce, witty exploration of Hamlet makes most other writing about Shakespeare seem simpleminded.
Letting Go: A Little Bit at a Time is filled with big ideas that just might change your life. Wise, witty, and important.
A team that is always fun with witty sense of humor. We help each other around a lot and help push each other to be better
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.
New Year's resolution: To refrain from saying witty, unkind things, unless they are really witty and irreparably damaging.
I don't believe any experiment until it is confirmed by theory. I find this is a witty inversion of "conventional" wisdom.
If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp, witty fighter like me, you can't make mistakes.
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of ceremonies.
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Usually when people see me, they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character.
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Faced with having to change our views or prove that there is no need to do so, most of us immediately get busy on the proof.
I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot of difference.
When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future.
Like all sciences and all valuations, the psychology of women has hitherto been considered only from the point of view of men.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
I know the bestseller 'Gone Girl' doesn't need an ounce of support from me, but that book was as sharp and witty as they come.
You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.
In the television age, the key distinction is between the candidate who can speak poetry and the one who can only speak prose.
As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do"
A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.
There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.
It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.