... talk, not sex, constitutes most of the intercourse between a man and his wife.

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

My e-mail address is actually my wife's e-mail address. I actually hate computers.

Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.

My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.

Christian - One who is willing to serve three Gods, but draws the line at one wife.

I remember being married to John Barry and trying to be the best wife in the world.

I guess I define myself as a mother, a wife, kind of a nutty person. A good person.

Funny how a wife can spot a blonde hair at twenty yards, yet miss the garage doors.

My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

A wise man in his house should find a wife gentle and courteous, or no wife at all.

A good wife must be strong enough to pull a plough and have a very erotic physique.

I am not in the habit of supporting people who attack my wife and attack my father.

Joseph has lately endeavored to seduce my wife, and has found her a virtuous woman.

The fittest time to corrupt a man's wife is when she's fallen out with her husband.

I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.

A second wife is hateful to the children of the first; A viper is not more hateful.

All other goods by fortune's hand are given, A wife is the peculiar gift of Heaven.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I caught my second wife screwing my stepdad. OK? It's a cruel world, Walt. Grow up.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

The predictable thing about 'The Good Wife' is how unpredictable 'The Good Wife' is.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

When one married a man, it was clear to me, one married also the sink and the stove.

I'm in charge of raising a young woman one day, to be a mother and hopefully a wife.

Anything a wife should do, I'm terrible at. Anything a mistress should do, I'll try.

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.

I read the Bible every day, study it, and share with my wife the blessings of faith.

A wife loves out of duty, and duty leads to constraint, and constraint kills desire.

My wife holds the kite strings that let me go 'weeeeeee', then she reels me back in.

That never goes over big with your wife. I will be a very good husband for a change.

Where I come from, they don't think much of men who are bossed about by their wives.

The parts for women, you're either like the quietly suffering wife or the wild girl.

Of earth's goods, the best is a good wife; a bad, the bitterest curse of human life.

I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.

A man who sacrifices for his wife and serves her becomes much more attractive to her.

Yes, I travel in unusual circles. George Osborne and his wife Frances are my cousins.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

Candidates' wives are supposed to sit cheerfully through their husbands' appearances.

There are two categories of women. Those who are women and those who are men's wives.

The difficulty of course is that I like women. It is only wives I am in trouble with.

Behind every successful enterprise, there is a supporting wife and surprised in-laws.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

How can a Man respect his Wife when he has a contemptible Opinion of her and her Sex?

My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore.

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.

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