Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Wit may do very well for a mistress, but [I] should prefer reason for a wife.
The faults of husbands are often caused by the excess virtues of their wives.
I'm not a chef, and I'm not an expert at anything. I'm just a mom and a wife.
I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
I saw my wife at a pool, flipped over her, and 14 days later we were married.
One can be a patriot, you know, without making one's wife join the breadline.
I saw your wife the other day and she is ugly. I know, but she sure can cook.
My wife is Jewish, and therefore, it's my children's birthright to be Jewish.
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
It is not monogamy when there is one legal wife, and mistresses out of sight.
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
I lived on rum, I tell you. It's been meat and drink, and man and wife, to me.
Get rich if you're looking for a woman, Get pious if you're looking for a wife
The happiest I have ever been is in the life that I led with my wife and kids.
I'd like to be a wife and mother. I guess I'll know Mr. Right when I meet him.
A son is a son 'til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
My wife calls me grumpy cat. I'm normally a very pleasant person to be around.
Some people call themselves fiscal conservatives; my wife says I'm just cheap.
My main reader was my wife Sheila, and I haven't written a lot since she died.
What kind of wife would I be if I left your father simply because he was dead?
Great artists are modest almost as seldom as they are faithful to their wives.
I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
The man who enters his wife's dressing room is either a philosopher or a fool.
My wife thought I deserved it, but I always thought the Nobel a Western prize.
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
I'm so grateful to have been raised on love and to be so in love with my wife.
I think my wife would take objection to any characterization of me as perfect.
I'm a boring guy - I have a wife and three kids. I'm not like Mr. Controversy.
My wife said I look like a Latin American dictator. I said, 'That's what I am'
My wife would probably say I'm the messiest person in the history of husbands.
I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
Men generally are afraid of a wife who has more understanding than themselves.
A pretty wife is something for the fastidious vanity of a roue to retire upon.
For most men, a stepford wife would bore them to tears after a couple of weeks
What can I say: I got started on the whole wife-and-kids thing at a young age.
I'm still very close friends with his first wife, Neile, who is now remarried.
I can't imagine anybody in my life I've been more vulnerable with than my wife.
Everyone knows me and my wife's story. We didn't have sex until we got married.
Family is the most important thing. Family starts with your wife and your kids.
I am generally cast as the dependable, affable, loving, friend-wife-girlfriend.
My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell until I married her.
For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.
That wife is an enemy to her husband who is given in marriage against her will.
Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
Since I left basketball, and my wife, it's been a glorious feast of lovemaking.
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
All my wives were great housekeepers. After every divorce, they kept the house.