Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
If your catchphrase has appeared in men's toilets, then you know you've made it!
Trust me-that toilet and me were best friends for the first few days I was here.
I started at Nottingham Forest cleaning toilets and scrubbing the shower floors.
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.
Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat.
The winner of the Westminster Dog Show gets to drink champagne - out of the toilet.
I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.
It wasn't long ago I was cleaning toilets and now I have protestors. How cool is this?
I loved being in Trainspotting and having to dive into the filthiest toilet in Scotland.
Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence?
Remember, if you write anything nasty about me, I'll come around and blow up your toilet.
We once installed a $1.49 trap in a woman's toilet and she never had ghost problems again.
I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.
New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature.
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to.
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
But, dear God, don't listen to me. I'm an old lady in the middle of nowhere without a real toilet.
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
You spend your whole life trying to get known and then you spend the rest of it hiding in the toilet.
The humble latrine, or flush toilet, reduces disease by twice as much as just putting in clean water.
[Americans] can't understand that the water in our toilet is cleaner than 880 million have access to.
Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, "where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?
If a woman were about to proceed to her execution, she would demand a little time to perfect her toilet.
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
If we all had all we wanted to eat, we'd crap too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.
With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity.
Sexy, no alcoholic, but she drink like a toilet. Told her do me a favor and put your mouth on this faucet.
Any outfit that can't figure out clean toilets and decent theming on its own can't benefit from my advice.
There is nothing like scrubbing toilets for a living to make you question the choices you have made in life.
I can install toilets. I know all about the wax ring. I can tile floors. I'm learning how to do basic wiring.
There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.
The only time I used to regret being a woman was when I had to use the toilets on sets when I would be shooting.
Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.
It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.
Timmy, who made a daring escape, also made a mistake of paying the taxi driver with a check made out of toilet paper.
I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that's like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell.
I've always had jobs with hierarchies - wherever I worked, like McDonald's, or cleaning toilets. It's always been hard.
I was a maid, so cleaning toilets wasn't my favorite thing, but honestly, standing outside all day in the cold was worse.