Never put a sock in a toaster.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

If you put a Ferrari sticker on a toaster, it doesn't go any faster.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.

You can converge a toaster and a refrigerator, but those things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.

We did not have a toaster growing up. I never knew what a toaster was, it was only as I got older, we got a toaster.

It's really fun to have a convection oven, even it if it's a little convection toaster oven. It really changes the way you bake.

You can't be a perfect environmentalist unless you're Ed Begley, Jr., whom I once saw on TV using a bicycle to power his toaster. He's amazing.

I often say to prospective clients, 'Nothing will age faster than your hardware.' Even the thinnest touch screen will look like a toaster oven in a number of years.

You can give poor people this royal wedding to watch and make them feel good about themselves, or you can give them something useful like, I don't know... a toaster.

I have avoided becoming stale by putting a little water on the plate, lying on the plate, and having myself refreshed in a toaster oven for 23 minutes once every month.

Many people continue to think of sharks as man-eating beasts. Sharks are enormously powerful and wild creatures, but you're more likely to be killed by your kitchen toaster than a shark!

My interest in theater really began in the '70s when American realism wasn't really in favor. I really dreaded going into a play that had a toaster that worked. I just didn't want to see that.

Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.

Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.

I think we've been dulled by capitalism. We're just blobs now - we're so worried about how we can keep paying the lease on the car, the mortgage, the lease on the toaster and all that. You can't really think about much else. If you lose that, you lose the whole lot.

AI does not keep me up at night. Almost no one is working on conscious machines. Deep learning algorithms, or Google search, or Facebook personalization, or Siri or self driving cars or Watson, those have the same relationship to conscious machines as a toaster does to a chess-playing computer.

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