Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it.

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much; what I got by going to Canada was a cold.

The Mexicans descend from the Aztecs; the Peruvians descend from the Incas; the Argentineans descend from the boats.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

You know, you have to be an optimist, a pessimist, sarcastic and pleasant all at the same time to be a photographer.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

I'm pretty sarcastic, and sometimes that doesn't come across on the Internet. It seems like I'm being rude or stupid.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

People often think I'm a faker, but I'm usually honest, in a certain way--in such a way that often nobody believes me!

You are so pure in mind and heart, In aspect, too, so mild, I wonder that you ever could Implant your wife with child.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

The last thing I want my robot to be is sarcastic. I want them to be pragmatic and reliable - just like my dishwasher.

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.

I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back of your dress?

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

Yeah, I definitely tend towards dry, sarcastic British humor. I actually aspire to be British - I'm pasty white as well.

Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

Now then, you dogs, whom the apostle puts outside and who yelp at the God of truth, let us come to your various questions.

I said [ Barack Obama], the founder of ISIS. Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.But not that sarcastic, to be honest with you.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

People may not like what I have to say - obviously, I get the sarcastic nickname of 'Siri,' because they say I know things.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem?

You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

I don't know if Hillary [Clinton] was saying it in a sarcastic manner, but I'm very proud to have the endorsement of the NRA.

The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do.

You slam a politician, you make out he's the devil, with horns and hoofs. But his wife loves him, and so did all his mistresses.

Humor is a good way in general to get people together, I think. Of course, Danish humor is more ironic and sarcastic altogether.

As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

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