Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.
Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.
It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.
Somehow I found him. Somehow I found Al's sarcastic thoughts, bitter and old. Tired, angry, bored. Alone.
Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and—oh." Okay. Maybe she had a point.
Everyone knows what a hypocrite is. That's the guy who gripes about the sex, violence and nudity on his VCR.
He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.
Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.
If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming.
Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.
I'm sarcastic, skeptical, and sometimes callous because I'm still afraid, deep down, of letting myself be hurt.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.
Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer.
I like Australia, but every time I'm there, I feel like everybody's being sarcastic because everyone's so nice.
I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.
I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.
Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things.
Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
I'm pretty sarcastic, and sometimes that doesn't come across on the Internet. It seems I'm being rude or stupid.
Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.
You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.
Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy.
I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.