If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

Having a little pee in your pants had to be better than being dinner for some redneck.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

When somebody like Elvis Costello comes along, anybody can make a good record with him.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

Unfortunately we just toured the East and West coasts so we didn't run into any rednecks.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

I think I may have created a monster with my - I won't say act - but with my redneck pose.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

Elvis Presley, The Everly Brothers, and a lot of American artists were my greatest influences.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

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