Ram it up your poop chute.

Everybody looks at their poop.

Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant.

I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop.

Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Going into therapy doesn't guarantee poop on toast.

I poop in the backyard... I wear disposable diapers.

Whenever I feel nervous, I feel like I have to poop.

Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out.

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

I have a natural propensity to work on big piles of poop.

If all you do is follow the herd, you'll just be stepping in poop all day

My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.

Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop? Answer: That is bird poop, too.

If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.

One side sticks to the facts, and the other side is close to playing with its poop.

I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks. I'll pay you 20 bucks and I'll eat it.

My most smelly job was at a kennels and cattery, and I basically spent all day scooping poop.

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

Putting Windows [3.11] on top of DOS is like putting whipped cream on a road apple [horse poop].

The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.

I use an app called ChoreMonster. The kids earn points for brushing teeth or picking up the dog poop. It's genius.

I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

I do not care about the greatest good for the greatest number . . . Most people are poop-heads I do not care about them at all.

The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop. That's who you are!

They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can actually do all three at the same time. Who knew?

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

I respect so much the work that so many women do, but that's just not what I do. I have a job where I advertise yogurt that makes you poop, and people love it and tell me about their bowel movements, every day.

You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.

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