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I really don't see little girls growing up and thinking, 'Oh, I'm going to morph myself so I look like Barbie.'
I went backwards and forwards over it until I was 22. And then in the past few years I began to say to myself, OK, look, I'm not messing around. This is something I want to attack, instead of thinking, I'll just see what happens with it.
After 9/11, I had just become an American citizen, and I remember sitting in front of my TV set watching the news of the attacks, in tears. I remember thinking to myself, 'Nothing is ever going to be the same in this country for people who look like me.'
Thinking back on it, I just really didn't have very many role models to look up to when it came to Asian actresses. And in that way, when I would see an Asian onscreen, it would be a secondary-type thing, and that's kind of how I ended up viewing myself in the world: as secondary.
The one feeling that settled in and stayed there for a long while, and I still deal with, is guilt. I was there. I was a part of it. Why does it have to be like this? Was I responsible? Was I the reason Dale was in that position? I'd ask myself that question and look around at people and wonder if they were thinking that, too.