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After I lost weight, I discovered that people found me valuable. Worthy of conversation. A person one could look at. A person one could compliment. A person one could admire. A person.
There's something about being rejected - when I go out without my friends, I'm reminded of how I'm actually quite antisocial. I don't look like a guy who feels like that, but it's very hard for me to start up a conversation. At a party, I'm lost.
Depth on different levels is so important to me. You look at a band like The Beatles, all their material has so much depth to it. And I want people to be able to run away with my melodies and get lost in them and take the lyrics and be able to relate to them.
It was when my American coach Dan Pfaff came over from the States in 2009 and started working with me that we really began to look at my diet. He decided I was eating too many carbohydrates, so I cut back on bread. Over the next year I lost weight and became leaner.
For me, the reason why people go to a mountaintop or go to the edge of the ocean is to look at something larger than themselves. That feeling of awe, of going to a cathedral, it's all about feeling lost in something bigger than oneself. To me, that's the definition of spectacle.
Me and my brother lived in kind of a shed behind our house, and it was cold. We really lived kind of a dirty existence. It was tough to move away from my father and grandfather in California. I wore socks that were so dirty they were hard and black, and I would go into the lost and found box at school and look for clothes.