Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.
A true Englishman doesn't joke when he is talking about so serious a thing as a wager.
It's a lot easier, I think, to be an actor in a movie than to spin a joke on a sitcom.
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.
I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.
Postmodernism is among other things a sick joke at the expense of revolutionary avant-gardism.
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.
I crack jokes all the time. Even when I have a fight, I will make a joke, and people will laugh.
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.
What the joke displays is a switch in perception. This is important in changing the way we think.
I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'
Every vision is a joke until the first man accomplishes it; once realized, it becomes commonplace.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But it's a joke, a blot on American history.
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched.
A lot of the joke of 'The Windsors' is this ridiculous idea of what might happen behind closed doors.
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
The critics had an image of me, and they wouldn't accept any other... I was a cartoon character. A joke.
We didn't have electricity when I was a kid. We had to watch TV by candlelight. No, that's a silly joke.
When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer.
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
You're not going to see my sense of humor on the football field. That's not a place for me to joke around.
I joke that a person of color would never make a movie like 'Midnight in Paris.' Nostalgia isn't so enticing.
Hour-long TV is no joke. It tests you as a human being. It makes you a stronger person, but it's really crazy.
Being raised Catholic myself, I think people who are Catholic tend to carry a lot of guilt. It's almost a joke.
I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.
I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.
Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
I've realized that I can never not do the nail salon joke, and I will have to talk about Bon Qui Qui for eternity.
My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke. It caused me to laugh bitterly through the 10,000 nights I spent alone.
It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable.
I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep from crying.
There is no bad time to laugh. I always joke, even five minutes before a game. It's not bad to stay a little immature.
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke.
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
Slavery is nothing to joke about. The history of this nation's involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.
I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke.