If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.

If you don't do it this year, you'll just be one year older when you do.

Good is no good, but if it be spend, God giveth good for none other end.

The more you put in your brain, the more it will hold - if you have one.

If you should escape the censure of others, hope not to escape your own.

I'm afraid that if I raced you on the street I'd push you to your death.

Even if you don't understand the language, you can still love the music.

If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.

If I dream I have you, I have you, for all our joys are but fantastical.

If people have a passion for anything they tend to get quite good at it.

Be right, and then be easy to live with, if possible, but in that order.

What is belief - what is faith - if you don't continue it after failure?

If you can call a Chevrolet a Chev, why can't you call a Japanese a Jap?

Like physical work, if you don't practice, you shouldn't expect results.

The past is past and I guess if you live in the past, you cease to live.

If you listen to your own voice, unknown friends will come and seek you.

Life can be swamped by sex very easily if sex is not normally satisfied.

If you're going to get into music, you've got to learn the 12-bar blues.

Satan can control you if you let outward things determine your security.

I love software, because if you can imagine something, you can build it.

I don't think I am any good. If I thought I was any good, I wouldn't be.

Work always as if you were a master, expect from yourself a masterpiece.

I think if you're lucky, you start to make music and it gets things out.

If you leave you leaving the best, so you would have to settle for less.

There is no beauty, if it doesn't show some of the terribleness of life.

If you get your education, then you've got your platform set up for you.

If you can be not afraid to be laughed at, you could do so many things.

If you got everything you wanted, you wouldn't have everything you need.

It is tempting to deny, but if you deny you confirm what you won't deny.

If we do the right thing with right intent that is actually our success.

And if the reader has no taste for what he reads, all the time is wasted

You can't be a 20-mile a day eater if you're just a 5-mile a day runner.

I don’t have any mottoes. If I did I would forever be contradicting them.

I love looking back, and even putting new music on vinyl - if it's right!

If I'd succeeded right away at acting I wouldn't have sought out writing.

Majorities are generally wrong, if only in their reasons for being right.

If you do your job properly you usually learn a lot from any role you do.

If you talk about corruption, you can talk about a lot of things in life.

If you have confidence you have patience. Confidence, that is everything.

The sacredness, if there is any, is all in yourself and not in the place.

If I learned anything in this life, I've learned that you can't cling on.

If you do something and it goes wrong, you learn from it and you move on.

If you cannot have what you believe in you must believe in what you have.

If you live what you believe, you will always have the respect of others.

I truly believe that you can do anything if you just believe in yourself.

If you are going to get anywhere in life you have to read a lot of books.

If we get it wrong about Jesus, it doesn’t matter what else we get right.

If you have something to say of any worth then people will listen to you.

If you listen to dogs barking you will go deaf without learning anything.

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

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