He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true.

Dance, my darling dance! If you dance then death can't catch you! Nothing bad can touch you! Dance!

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

Twitter. It's not a good sound, is it? If it were worth doing, there would be a better word for it.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York

If you possess something but you can't give it away, then you don't possess it... it possesses you.

If you can be mentally stimulated by the workout and find out how to get through it, it's more fun.

The downside is, if somebody doesn't like it, then it's like "oh my god, ok its really your fault."

Adversarial power relationships only work if you never have to see or work with the bastards again.

I guess I'm fairly insistent and maybe consistent. If I decide I'll do something, I generally will.

If I get to know somebody, I'll open up, but other than that I like to sit back and observe things.

The windfall of great riches can, if mismanaged, make things worse, not better, for the recipients.

Who among us wouldn't rush out and buy a Pepsi if we thought it would make the Osborne's disappear?

After all, if there is a heaven, we will find each other again, for there is no heaven without you.

If one imitates the upright, one becomes upright. If one imitates the crooked, one becomes crooked.

You figured that the only way I'd be happy is if I did the things you thought would be best for me.

I could definitely see myself living back in Australia again. If I had a family, I could move back.

Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'

A lot of things depend on your attitude. If it is good that you seek, it is good that you will find.

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.

If you do not surrender, I shall be forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet.

If it was wrong to persecute heterosexuals in a homosexual society, then the reverse was wrong, too.

Fallacious and misleading arguments are most easily detected if set out in correct syllogistic form.

If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it.

Here's the thing, you just have to drive a lot faster, and if you don't get there, we're both fired.

I have to not take myself too seriously and I have to realise that if it is meant to be, it will be.

If God did not exist, we should have to invent him. If God did exist, we should have to abolish Him.

If one could only reproduce nature, and always with less beauty than the original, why paint at all?

If we take away any of the attributes of God, we do not weaken God but we weaken our concept of God.

Every journey will take us to somewhere even if at the beginning it looks like taking us to nowhere!

...and that's when I get to wondering, what would happen if I told her she something good, ever day?

Everything in your business can be outsourced... if you're not emotionally attached to doing it all.

If everything you do works, then you're not taking many risks and probably aren't innovating either.

Anything I do has to be directly related to my music. If it isn't, I don't really see a point to it.

Whatever circumstance it is, if you always do your best, then you can't beat yourself up, basically.

If I'm going to do something, I really put everything into it and I want it to mean something to me.

The corridor couldn't have smelled more strongly of fish guts if we had actually been inside a fish.

The true measure of your character is what you would do if you were sure no one would ever find out.

If a false thought is so much as expressed boldly and clearly, a great deal has already been gained.

Mr. Knightley, if I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream.

I don't take anything too seriously. If I do, I realize pretty quickly that's why I'm uncomfortable.

If civilians are going to be killed, I would rather have them be their civilians than our civilians.

What good is money to you if you're going to die? It's not often that money can save someone's life.

If you want to attack someone you attack their family. That is easy. You don't have to say directly.

I've never wanted to be in fashion. Because if you're in fashion, you're going to be out of fashion.

If someone wants to employ me, whoever wants to employ me, I'll go and do that. I just want to work.

If faith is lost, there is no security and there is no life for him who does not adhere to religion.

Don't worry. If you really want to, you will Whether you'll like it when you do is another question.

Adults weren’t supposed to understand their children and you were doing something wrong if they did.

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