Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last guy. Nobodys got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the whole world.
Save your sweet talk for later, Daphne. The garbage guys just drove up with the new Dumpster." "Shut the lid after you climb in.
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
I don't mind getting punched in the nose by a guy standing in front of me. It's getting stabbed in the back that I can't handle.
I'm running my mouth a lot and I'm looking for a guy to shut me up. If you don't shut me up, I'm going to keep running my mouth.
Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
Why not draw naked guys, just to be fair? Naked women is art, naked guys a no-no, I bet. Probably because most painters are men.
America's Most Wanted? I love it when there's a guy in the back seat pounding his head on the plexiglas. That to me is the best.
When you really don't like a guy, they're all over you, and as soon as you act like you like them, they're no longer interested.
Now it looks like I'll be known as the musical comedy guy. Which is good news for me. Or I'll be known as the New Zealand idiot.
What do women want? A guy they can't drive crazy. There aren't many around. But they try. They can't help it, it's their nature.
I'm the music guy, I get to wear the music hat, but being able to be that guy in the room is a thrill at this level and caliber.
Eve: Anyway, thanks for riding to the rescue. You need a white hat. Good guys wear white, right? Roarke: I look better in black.
In film roles, I play a lot of heavies and a lot of bad guys, so I tend to be the jokester and the good-time Charlie on the set.
Hell must be a pretty swell spot, because the guys that invented religion have sure been trying hard to keep everybody else out.
I dated this guy who literally would never eat a single vegetable. I was like, 'This is terrible. You eat like a five-year-old.'
I just want to say I owe the whole reds organization a great deal. Great staff top to bottom and I wish those guys all the best.
It's almost like when you're young, your friends take on the romance role, and then guys take on the role of your friends later.
Emotionally involving the audience is easy. Anybody can do it blindfolded: get a little kitten and have some guy wring its neck.
I was in a bar and I said to a friend, 'You know, we've become those 40-year-old guys we used to look at and say, 'Isn't it sad?'
I mean, you may be very mad at some guy that walked away with a huge golden parachute, but that really isn't the important thing.
To impress me, a guy has to be completely unaffected by my presence. If he wants to talk to me, talk to me; if he doesn't, don't.
Jack leaned over, “Ever get the impression that these women are way out of our league?” “I shot the last guy who said that to me.
The doll had an adult shaped body, the thing that I had been trying to describe for years, and our guys said it couldn't be done.
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
I never said I didn't like kissing you. The problem is too many guys have like kissing you." - Erik Night to Zoey Redbird (Ch 26)
I rode an elevator with a guy who was whistling the tune of 'this is the song that never ends'. Putting that on me? Come on dude.
I was the only guy who is referred to as Mr. Smith in the New York Times and in the same week as Sexy Rexy in some teen magazine.
I say that in jest a little bit, but Donald Trump is a blue collar guy with a balance sheet. That's the way he likes to have fun.
Delhi gives you a lot of love. Bombay people don't care much because it's usual for them to see a TV serial guy or a movie actor.
Brian Stann is a great guy. I voted him in for the President of the United States in 2008, and I will write him in again in 2012.
I am not a huge fan of the one-sided pining romances where the guy is a perfect love-object because we don't see inside his head.
A lot of times you see really good-looking guys on TV and you sort of assume that maybe there's some sort of vacuity behind them.
Whenever I'm around my guy friends, I'm always playing video games. I've always enjoyed the graphics side of them, how they look.
I don't know why I always get to play these guys who have few redeeming features. But don't knock it. Villains are much more fun.
I'm not one of those guys that focuses much on individual stats because my main goal is to be at my best physically and mentally.
You laugh, but you haven't seen me in a tux. Or maybe you don't like broad-shouldered guys with muscular chest and washboard abs?
We're really hard on ourselves and just need to relax more. A lot of guys really prefer you more natural. That's from experience.
I'm a big wilderness, mountain guy. I love to go up in the mountains and I can just sit for hours and just look at the mountains.
One of the great ironies of my career is that people imagine me as some sort of hardcore metal guy because of the Metallica film.
Well, my plan, actually Larry Kudlow, who's a fantastic guy, I think likes my plan the most. I'm cutting taxes by about the most.
Follow the wisdom of the great actor, James Cagney, you hit your mark, you look the other guy in the eye, and you tell the truth.
Sometimes it's not about speed about power, it's about up here man [points to his head]. All these guys are not with me mentally.
Honestly, I have a tendency to date dorks. Which means that a lot of times, I date guys that no one else would deem to be a hunk.
When the guy says go, you start to suffer - or you might as well not be out there. It's a small piece of your life, make it hurt.
The Hollies, after I left in 1968, had the audacity, the gall, to have three number one records after I left. Thanks a lot, guys.
I am trying to beat the guy sitting across from me and trying to choose the moves that are most unpleasant for him and his style.
I want to be one of the top guys in the back end and make sure I keep our team in line and doing the right things in front of me.
But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last guy. Nobody's got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the whole world.