I don't know if I'll ever do it again or not, but frankly I don't really care.

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.

Every rock'n'roll band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf now.

Lessons are not to take the place of practice, but to make practice worthwhile.

I don't play much golf anymore. I can't - if I break 80, I'm doing pretty well.

It's about hitting the ball in the center of the club face and hitting it hard.

The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win.

Golf is like life in a lot of ways - All the biggest wounds are self-inflicted.

Sam Snead did to the tee-shot what Roger Bannister did to the four-minute mile.

Golf is based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par three?

Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it.

Try to think where you want to put the ball, not where you don't want it to go.

I don't see myself playing or adjusting my schedule for senior tournament golf.

A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.

To be honest, I'm not a big golf nerd. Golf is kind of boring, not much action.

Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man's sins.

Go out and have fun. Golf is a game for everyone, not just for the talented few.

This golf course, you miss a shot a little bit off-line, it's going to bite you.

There have been so many great moments in golf that you even forget some of them.

It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

I play golf and ride my motorcycle - my Harley - around the hills of California.

I'm a great believer that if you don't get the ball to the hole, it won't go in.

You don't go to Palm Springs in the summer unless you're building a golf course.

Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.

You can talk about strategy all you want, but what really matters is resiliency.

If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer.

Golf's a funny game. You can be playing poorly and then go and win a tournament.

This game is so elusive. You try to maintain the peaks and level up the valleys.

My butterflies are still going strong. I just hope they are flying in formation.

The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.

That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it.

I don't need to be too intense. I don't play my best golf when I'm super-intense.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

I can't stand Tiger Woods. He is the most selfish man I've ever played golf with.

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

Actually, I love golf clothes! I think this is the most interesting part of golf!

G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.

I've got a great life. It's a shame the work gets in the way of the golf, really.

Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's.

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?

The head has no purpose in the golf swing. It simply goes where the body takes it

There are three types of golf: golf, tournament golf and Major championship golf.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.

Golf seems to be an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dog's out.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

Never take a mulligan on a par 3. A "hole in three" is not a fun story to relive.

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