Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

We all have our tastes and our type... [But] for me to say 'You're beautiful', I can only say that to my girlfriend. The word 'beautiful' has such a different caliber than any other word out there, like sexy, hot, cute.

I peeled off La Brea and went home and instantly made a reservation to come back to New York. Essentially, I fired everybody that was in my life, my agent, my lawyer, my manager, my girlfriend and came back to New York.

I was working for Martin Finnegan. He was my best mate in racing. I went to his wedding in November 2007. No-one else from the racing world was invited apart from me and my girlfriend. The funeral was the following May.

I've become really good at turning down the boring, pretty girl roles, the trophy wife, supermodel, beautiful girlfriend roles. I mean, playing somebody who's perfect holds no allure for me, whatsoever. It's just boring.

The excuse of having a dog is great, because before I had a dog, I wouldn't be like, 'I need to go hike for two hours'; my girlfriend would have been like, 'What are you doing?' Now I take the dog, and she comes with me.

I like to do little obsessed losers, or people who are in over their head, or people who are trying to figure stuff out, or guys whose girlfriends leave them and they don't quite get it. Guys who just don't quite get it.

Happiest day of my life when my dad made him human. (Devyn) Happy for you, bonebag…It cost me my girlfriend. (Vik) It was a lamp, Vik, not a girlfriend. (Devyn) I really loved that lamp. She lit up my entire world. (Vik)

Have you tried this shrimp? It's freaking amazing. Would you get away from me? I hate you. You're so moody. Just because I kidnapped you and tried to force you to be my girlfriend. I thought you would be over that by now.

I can spend a lot of time on the internet as a substitute for TV. This is part of the reason why I'm not a good girlfriend - you can't sit down with me and watch a movie. I hate being strapped down to stay with something.

It must be so hard for guys in relationships - to have just one girlfriend completely devoted to taking care of all your whole-grain needs. I can see how at the first opportunity you'd just have to get out there and - sow.

What’s a little calming distraction for your girlfriend in the midst of world entertainment domination?” “I’d stop the world from spinning for you.” That silly line oddly touched me. “I love you.” “Liked that one, did you?

If you think it makes a difference if I have ten thousand sports cars, ten million girlfriends and lead a very flashy life ... I don't think you should work with any teacher because you don't know what it is all about yet.

I'm so in love with the United States. Not as a patriot. I'm in love with America like it's my first girlfriend. The geography, the people, the smell, the touch, the taste, the gas stations. I'm madly in love with America.

I was living in Bangkok and I had a girlfriend during this time, she was traveling and I was jealous. Y'know, I thought she might meet someone, might do something, and I was just worried, and I went and I wrote 'Nevermind.'

They kept asking me over and over again whether I was having a romance with Hitler. Are you Hitler's girlfriend? I laughed and answered the same way each time: No, those are false rumours. I only made documentaries for him.

My first real kiss was in seventh grade. It was at the movie Hardball, starring Keanu Reeves and it was with my little sixth grade girlfriend. It was the first time we were alone. Her mom was sitting two rows in front of us!

I don't want a girlfriend because that means I've got a responsibility. I have a responsibility to call you. I have a responsibility not to be with another woman. I have a responsibility to be there on time when you need me.

We're not just somebody's girlfriend who smiles all the time and bakes cookies and always has lingerie ready and their hair done. That's not real. The roles that I play are about bringing as much reality into it as possible.

When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't.

I slowly climbed back to my feet, walked back into the emergency department through the silently swishing glass doors, and, covered in my girlfriend's blood, lied perfectly for the first time in my life. "I tried to stop her.

I'm married now, but back when I had girlfriends, you were always wondering if they liked you, and if you liked them enough. You're together, but the smallest thing could make one of you go 'You know what? This isn't working!

Al Plastino helped redefine Superman in the 1950s. His work on Supermans Girlfriend, Lois Lane, Adventure Comics and pretty much any title in the Superman family will be fondly remembered for years to come. He will be missed.

When I'm unhappy with something, people know, because I don't want to hold on to it. I'd rather deal immediately with the stuff that bothers me, so using my network - my girlfriends, my husband, my mom - I talk a lot, I vent.

I don't think there is just one Louis Vuitton woman. That is why, for the fall/winter 2011 show, I loved the idea of lots of different characters - a wife, a mistress, a girlfriend - stepping out of the row of hotel elevators.

My girlfriend tells me if I'm doing a movie I'm a roller coaster of emotions all the time, but on "Boardwalk," because I've done it for so long and I'm so in tune with the character, she says I'm pretty happy most of the time.

'You claim to be the man, you want me for a lover, So you can do my girlfriends and my sister and my mother?' I said, 'You're very blunt,' with quickness to the cue, 'So whassup with your mother, does she look as good as you?'

I have a girlfriend. I give my heart to her. She's around, she's everywhere, we travel together. She's beautiful, she's gorgeous, she's everything you want in a woman. She doesn't complain.. but I can tune her out just enough.

On-screen relationships are the best because you don't have to worry about saying the wrong things. And if the guy's got a girlfriend, or I'm not attracted to him, it's even better. It's just my character kissing his character.

Actually my relationships with my girlfriends have become that much deeper and more profound, because I'm like, huh, yeah, I don't have to judge you, or you judge me. It was a lot of - I didn't want to be that crazy girlfriend.

Let's be honest, half the marriages end in divorce. For me, it's never made much sense. I have a girlfriend and I'm not interested in anyone else, but I still wouldn't want to bring the federal and state government into my life.

I've learnt that the muse is like an angry girlfriend. If she comes knocking you better be home because if you're not, she doesn't leave a note saying pick up after 3 P. M. from the post office. The gift she had is gone forever.

I'm really only capable to two emotions at this point: lust and hunger. I lost revenge a few years back, and even then, it was reserved only for ex-girlfriends and particular football games that caused me to lose a lot of money.

Having a girlfriend was no longer my greatest need. Knowing and obeying Him was . I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people - even if it meant kissing dating goodbye.

I've had my heart broken in a lot of different ways a lot of different times by different people - whether it be a family member, a girlfriend, a friend, just all types of relying on people, making yourself vulnerable to people.

Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks.

Ages ago, my girlfriend had this little park near her house, with a bridge running over a stream and I set up all these candles on the bridge. But when I called her and told her she said it was too dark and she wasn't coming out.

I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair. "Which one?" He asked. "I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends." "Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend?

The first half of high school, I had a girlfriend, and then the second half I got to know these guys who would just get stoned and jam. I had struck the goth thing by then, but I still thought of myself as Ian Curtis or something.

One of the things I loved about working on 'Portal' was that we'd get emails from people saying, 'I love to play first-person shooters but my girlfriend won't play them with me. But I got her to play 'Portal' and she had a blast.'

I have one good girlfriend and then most of my friends are guys. Which I love, because they're just like so easygoing and I love to play like Xbox and just chill out when I'm not working, so boys are probably the way to go for me.

I always think that the people who have the hardest time in the spotlight are the people who have unearned fame, like the girlfriends of people who are famous or people who become figures of attention, not through their own merit.

I am against changing my body to become better. I am not against implants, I have a lot of girlfriends who have them, but the implants look good on them. I am never gonna get them, once I have kids they are gonna get bigger anyway.

I would say my relationships have always affected my music. Each one. I wrote most of my great songs, that I'm still using today, in 2008 when I had the worst heartbreak of my life with my first girlfriend. It inspired great music.

You know, I have guys that are almost stalkers... it is very strange. I had this one guy that e-mailed me off my site, and thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He then came to my house in London, I do not know how he found it.

Let us say your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend makes you happy. If they leave, you're bound to be unhappy. You are the slave of the thing that makes you happy. You are a junkie and human relationships can be expensive habits.

To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.

And I could see his internal struggle become an all out war. "It wouldn't have made a difference. Not with Adrian involved," he said..... "I meant it. I won't be that guy Rose. I won't be that man that takes someone else's girlfriend.

I'm the biggest nerd - I love comic books and stuff like that! I don't have any friends who are actresses. I only had one girlfriend when I was growing up. Most of my friends were boys. I was such a tomboy. I enjoyed doing guy things.

I read somewhere that tongue-kissing was coined as an insult to the French reputation of sexual promiscuity. Apparently, American soldiers returned home from World War I and showed their wives and girlfriends what they learned abroad.

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