Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
I'd say he's done more than that.
Man is the inventor of stupidity.
Carpe per diem - seize the check.
When in doubt, blow something up.
I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
I'm unique. I'm myself. I'm funny.
Start three bars before something.
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
I am two lesbians in a man's body.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
I have an unfortunate personality.
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
You exaggerate your own reactions.
In your heart you know he's right.
The late start is due to the time.
Beer ... a high and mighty liquor.
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.
A word to the wise is infuriating.
I can conduct better than I count.
I own and operate a ferocious ego.
I'm not funny. What I am is brave.
Life is short and progress is slow
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Noble fathers have noble children.
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
The older I get, the faster I was.
Whoever tells the best story wins.
I love humanity but I hate people.
A rich man's joke is always funny.
If the apocalypse comes...beep me!
I like life. It's something to do.
Life is too short for a long story
My idea of fast food is a mallard.
Whatever advice you give, be short.
Did you play? It sounded very good.
Pain is temporary, film is forever.
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
A book that is shut is but a block.
Long note? Yes. Make it seem short.
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken
Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
Everyone's crazy except you and me.
Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.
There are no nudists in cold areas.
So little time and so little to do.