Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.
The 'Celeb Juice' job was never mine - people just guessed - but it was quite funny to watch the rumours.
You never want to defend a joke. People get to choose whether or not to laugh and whether or not they think something is funny.
What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down.
You know, if I started worrying about what the critics think, I'd never make another comedy. You couldn't pick a less funny group than critics - you couldn't find a more bitter group of people!
I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people.
It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'