Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Love conquers all things.
I was married once before, and I stopped.
I have trouble saying hu ... hu ... husband.
You have no idea of the women I didn't marry.
Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
It is best for ordinary men to have only one wife !
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride.
Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering.
If you want your wife to listen to you, talk to another woman.
God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
Everything comes to us from others. To Be is to belong to someone.
She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.
Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much... ...Monogamy ? It's the same.
Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.
The Equal Rights Amendment would "turn holy wedlock into holy deadlock."
An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce.
And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate.
All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
Each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people.
Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.
You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?
Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.
If Marilyn is in love with my husband it proves she has good taste, for I am in love with him too.
The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever.
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.
Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.
I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful.
When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.
It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.