Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You know it's love when you want to give joy and damn the consequences.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.
My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.
I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason
My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time.
I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.
I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be let alone!' There is all the difference.
If it's true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers.
Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
If I eat a huge meal and I can get the girl to rub my belly, I think that's about as romantic as I can think of.
In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late'
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.
On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.
If you have nothing but love for your avocados, and you take joy in turning them into guacamole, all you need is someone to share it with.
When one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes we wait too long looking at the closed door, and never realize that another door has been opened.
But even if we take matrimony at its lowest, even if we regard it as no more than a sort of friendship recognised by the police, there must be degrees in the freedom and sympathy realised, and some principle to guide simple folk in their selection.
Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, "Look, gas, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy... Get off here, now!" But the man is focusing on the sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 miles," and he thinks, "I can make it."