Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
A fart in the face is love.
Fart jokes still work for me.
She's a warm fart at Christmas.
I fart in your general direction.
I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman.
We're here on Earth to fart around
Have you been sniffing fairy farts?
You stand out like a fart in a church.
I have a playlist of farts on my phone.
As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.
I can smell a liar like a fart in a lift!
Every man knows the smell of his own fart.
I fart. My backstage ritual is flatulence.
That has less significance than a dog's fart.
You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!
The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!
And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart.
At my age, you sort of fart your way into a role.
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.
Art is like a fart for the soul. Better out than in.
Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.
I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts.
ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.
Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.
You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.
Rock n' roll is for the young idiots, not an old fart like me.
I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.
Verbal contracts are about as useful as a fart on a treadmill.
I couldn't fart in an elevator without people wanting to sue me.
The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.
If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
If you can fart in front of somebody, you know that they love you.
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.
There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact.
I wouldn't fart in front of my wife, and she wouldn't do it in front of me.
Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.
Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.
At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart.
People dressed in a certain kind of clothing are never wrong. Also they never fart.
I want to become so successful that if I wanna fart on a track, I can, and it will sell.
At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
I can make the best fart noises. I can make, like, 10 different sounds at different levels.