A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.

I have two Iceland horses, a very hairy dog called Looney, and a guinea pig.

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.

Your deep interests should always have a dog-eared place on your nightstand.

When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.

The Britisher is the top dog and the Indian the underdog in his own country.

Dogs in America get more affection than women in most Third World countries.

If dogs talked, one of them would be president by now. Everybody likes dogs.

Breaks balance out. The sun don't shine on the same ol' dog's ass every day.

Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls... because they can.

I am in flight from my story every day, and it dogs me like a faithful stray.

There will always be a lost dog somewhere that will keep me from being happy.

Even a dog knows the difference between being kicked and being stumbled over.

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

You can be full of kindness and love, but you cannot sleep next to a mad dog.

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

Cats are more interesting, let's face it. Dogs are loveable and a bit boring.

I also like men who like dogs. I couldn't date a man who doesn't like my dog.

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

There is no greater pleasure than having a dog. And that's a scientific fact!

Do good even to the wicked; it is as well to shut a dog's mouth with a crumb.

I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.

If you're in Journalism and you're looking for friends, you should get a dog.

My serve has killed a small dog ... I'm joking, I'm joking! The dog was huge!

Let us love dogs; let us love only dogs! Men and cats are unworthy creatures.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

Every Saturday we work in the yard, pick up the dog doo, hope that it's hard.

Why am I hopping around like some trained dog trying to please people I hate?

Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

I have a dog. It's an English mastiff called Dolly. Her middle name is Poppy.

Before I had my child, animals were my life. I slept with four dogs in my bed.

There are certain regions in the country where the indigenous people eat dogs.

It looks like a miniature hippopotamus with badly-fitting panty hose all over.

The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be.

Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.

No one's coming in seeing my dogs, daughter or the crack of my ass, forget it.

People wouldn’t have become who we are today if we hadn’t coevolved with dogs.

A dead dog is more quiet than a house on the steppes, a chair in a empty room.

It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

Dogs with broken legs are shot; men with broken souls write through the night.

Chicago keeps getting all these complete games. Im expecting 50 cent hot dogs.

I had a dog for 20 years and her name was 'Penny,' so I have a penny necklace.

It's not the breed that makes a good companion. All dogs are great companions.

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent.

the body is simple as a turtle / and straight as a dog: / the body cannot lie.

He went up to heaven, located his dog. Not only that, but he rejoined his arm.

Hot dogs and Red Vines and potato chips and French fries are my favorite foods.

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