Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is.
An offended audience member repeating a comedian's act from memory is worse than, literally, anything.
To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps.
I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.
I studied acting at Carnegie Tech in Pittsburgh because I figured a good comedian certainly could act.
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.
I'm more of a comedian. I wouldn't mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool.
You have to go away to come back. That's just normal. That's with bands, actors, comedians, everything.
I'm not very big on politics. I'm a comedian and not that smart. I don't have the mind capacity for it.
Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.
Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton.
If you know me, I don't live in this dismal world. I mean, I like to have fun. My friends are comedians.
Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.
I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a comedian who stole except for when it's been in anger.
Appurv Gupta brings you a unique point of view that no other comedian in India does. Well worth a watch.
Even if I wasn't an actress or a comedian, I would be spreading love and laughter [with] whatever I did.
Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset -- the comedians themselves.
The comedian can put the punchline out there, but it's the audience that receives it - and has to get it.
We seek our friend not sacredly, but with an adulterate passion which would appropriate him to ourselves.
I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.
Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs.
When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.
I have fear of the audience and I am responsible for the scenes involving me, be it as a comedian or hero.
There are few lonelier sights than a good comedian being funny in a movie that doesn't know what funny is.
Really, to me, a really good evening would be a comedian, followed by a band, followed by a really good DJ.
Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.
There are many terms that have been used to describe me: man, comedian, disappointment, hammock enthusiast.
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
Let's face it, the great comedians now that are handicapped in the looks department are tremendous writers.
I was like a Borscht Belt comedian trapped in the body of a 6-year-old. I was channeling Jackie Mason at 7.
Maybe if I could ever be a successful comedian then I could be an example that Christians can also have fun.
I feel like Jim Carrey is probably the closest thing to a true physical comedian that we have working today.
The audience loves when the comedian talks to them. You're creating inside jokes, which creates a community.
A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world.
I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.
I am a comedian: that means I laugh at things other people don't laugh at and also annoys my wife sometimes.
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
I'm not a stand-up comedian. I'm not an improv person or anything, but I've always been a fan of that stuff.
No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
Pakistan hasn't been cast in the role of... interesting cultural place or, you know, land of great comedians.
Probably one of the reasons I became a comedian is that you get a chance to control when people laugh at you.
I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.
People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'
That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.
I see myself primarily as a comedian, and my aim on the 'Last Leg' is to be as funny as I can about the news.
I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.
Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'