Well, what do you expect? The Comedian is dead.

Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.

I've been doing comedies but I'm not a comedian.

I'm not a stand-up comedian; I'm not a satirist.

I've been doing comedies but I'm not a comedian.

I would say I'm a goof ball, but not a comedian.

I was half Catskills comedian, half 1800s matron.

Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance.

Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions.

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

A lot of being a comedian is about observing people.

To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded.

As a comedian, I think you need to keep things real.

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year.

I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.

You know, I've never thought of myself as a comedian.

There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.

I was stuck in the benefits of being a known comedian.

You don't need to be stable to be a stand-up comedian.

Normally, I name my characters after famous comedians.

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.

Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.

I am the smartest comedian in the history of the world.

There isn't a comedian in the world that hasn't bombed.

As a comedian, you have everything working against you.

I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.

I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny.

I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.

I feel like I've always thought of myself as a comedian.

I'm an actor, I'm not a comedian, I never was a comedian.

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

I don't know that I'd be a comedian if I stayed in Canada.

I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.

A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.

I'm the only comedian qualified to navigate a supertanker.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

You say you're a comedian, you always have to be on guard.

Ive been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.

I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.

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