Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts.
Years and years ago, like in 2006, my wife, I didn't have a car, she would drive me to weigh-ins, we would sleep in broken-down motels and I would fight the next day. Just me and her.
My wife turns me onto shows. I do end up watching them. She has to drag me in there, and when she does, I enjoy it. 'Glee' was one of those things for the first year, especially - I got into that. I would sit down with a glass of wine and get into that. I even have a 'Glee' CD in my car.
The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word 'wife' on stage is because it seems a funny word to me. The more you say it, the more it seems to detach from that person and become this sort of abstract thing: that you would set out to find a wife, that it would be an objective like buying a new car.
I dated a guy and he liked me but I didn't like him. I went through his wardrobe and cleaned out his house and got him to get a new car. He said to me, 'If I give you $10,000, will you find me my wife because I want someone like you?' And within a year, he got married. That was the first match that led to me leaving my corporate job.