I'm always happy when I'm cleaning, and besides, I had just found out that I was going to have a baby.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

Now don't you ever tell a lie just confide in me Would you die 4 me? Tell me baby would you ride 4 me?

That's the miracle of babies, their ability to lay bare the tender, beating hearts of raging assholes.

I'm a new mum who spends her days making baby food and cooking for her man. And I couldn't be happier.

At 24, I took time off to have a baby, and ever since, I have been juggling modelling with motherhood.

I am working on a book urging the beating to death of baby whales using the dead bodies of baby seals.

Full moons, skunk weed all up in the room; You got the munchies, baby? Ice cold milk and Lorna Doones.

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

It's been my dream to have four babies by 30. I look after animals, so I'd have a lot to give my kids.

That rich guy you've been seeing, must have put you down. Welcome back baby, to the poor side of town.

I'm still in the first baby steps of my career, so I've got so much to learn and so much to figure out.

I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies.

She didn't want to let go of him, or the baby, but sometimes life made you give up what you loved most.

What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.

Women are strong, strong, terribly strong. We don't know how strong until we're pushing out our babies.

Oh, baby, this ain’t asshole. Trust me. There’s a whole keg of asshole I haven’t even begun to tap yet.

I wish that every baby everywhere could land in a family that wanted that baby as much as we want ours.

I don't like John Terry and I never have. He's got funny eyes and he's a cry baby. He's also a Cockney.

Then to have your baby playing at the school you played at and having him play well is a special treat.

I care much more about saving the lives of mothers and babies than I do about a fancy museum somewhere.

I'm beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way.

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

A farm is like a very large and extended baby. It takes a great deal of time and very little mentality.

My father described me as the oldest baby he'd ever seen. I apparently was very serious and reflective.

She was pondering the option of law school, the great American baby-sitter for directionless postgrads.

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

Anything you want to say about God you better make sure you can say in front of a pit of burning babies.

We can't form our children on our own concepts; we must take them and love them as God gives them to us.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

There must be a better reason to have a baby than to provide a plot point in a rom-com. Don't you think?

Freedom or jail clips inserted, a baby's being born/ Same time a man is murdered, the beginning and end.

Most of us would do more for our babies than we have ever been willing to do for anyone, even ourselves.

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

The first of America's 79 million baby boomers turned 60 this month. Time flies when you're growing old.

There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters. Here, small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry.

I am moving towards being vegan. When I crack an egg now, I look and think could that have become a baby

It's not just the making of babies, but the making of mothers that midwives see as the miracle of birth.

We want every human being in the womb to be safe, not have these babies be killed to solve some dilemma.

The only time the word baby doesn't scare me is the time that it should, when it is what a man calls me.

Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.

The Baby Boom has spawned an even bigger Grandma Boom. For every baby born, two women turn into grandmas.

I've noticed that men get unhappy about women talking about something other than men, or love, or babies.

The Lord is more anxious to forgive our sins than a woman is to carry her baby out of a burning building.

Only in Paris do couture workers, from seamstress to mannequin, worship a dress and treat it like a baby.

When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.

I don't do anything or have any magical secret or something, other than drinking baby's blood, of course.

Men hand out cigars. Women `hand out' babies. And thus the world, for thousands of years, has gone round.

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