God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.

I wish coke was still cola and a joint was a bad place to be.

[Political movements] both favor alcohol and are against pot.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Alcohol, contrary to instinct, is not the secret to happiness.

The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency.

And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning.

If you are allergic to alcohol... can you take shots for that?

I was daily intoxicated, yet no man could call me intemperate.

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.

Alcohol does not solve problems but becomes a problem in itself

I think we have a problem with how we treat people and alcohol.

I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

He gets his courage from the can, it makes him feel like a man.

Alcohol is an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind.

Acid, booze, and ass, needles, guns, and grass, lots of laughs.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

It's Faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money.

Kids are going to try drugs and alcohol; that's part of society.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

I stay away from alcohol and cigarettes, as I am a tee-totaller.

Stick a needle in your arm, you bite the dust, you buy the farm.

Alcohol was the background color in the fabric of Reggie's life.

Rolling down the street, smoking indo, sippin' on gin and juice.

I am more afraid of alcohol than of all the bullets of the enemy.

I don't know of any issues associated with alcohol before flight.

Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.

Wine is a treacherous friend who you must always be on guard for.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

I don't drink alcohol too late in the evening; I read a good book.

When it comes to me and alcohol, I have special drinks everywhere.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker.

It's the fine balance of caffeine and alcohol that bookends my days

Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

I know for one thing that alcohol will have no more part in my life.

Alcohol carries the pleasures of the palate to their highest degree.

I am as drunk as a lord, but then, I am one, so what does it matter ?

Do you feel your best when your strung out on your morphine and meth?

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