Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

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• Saint Augustine

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• Maya Angelou

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• Joe Biden

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• Carl Sagan

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• Leonardo Da Vinci

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• William Blake

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• Peter Drucker

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• Kim Kardashian

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• Socrates

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• Jordan Peterson

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• Julius Caesar

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• Martin Luther

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