Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?

The problem with leftism as a vice is that everyone else is stuck with the hangover.

Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.

My friends and my family are such a massive part of my life. My kids are everything.

Nothing, not even an avocado pit, keeps guacamole green for too long once it's made.

The dog that I was given on The Hills for Christmas is with my best friend's family.

Every once in a while, the market does something so stupid it takes your breath away

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: "Run your own race, put on your blinders."

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young'; it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.

What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me.

I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

I like to have fun, but I don't have a lot of time for myself. I do have eight kids!

Fresh air and exercise. That's all you need to stay slim and feel better about life.

Weird things happen when strange men run for election. See Donald Trump for details.

I've been no-platformed from every university with a strong Islamic faith community.

If a man could give birth it would be to a book - it's an 18-month gestation period.

I just let my hair go - if there's no hairdresser around I really can't be bothered!

Your life is meant for you to understand and process, not to make anyone else happy.

I'm up at like 6 a.m. With my trainer, running up the hill you drove up to get here.

I don't really have goals as far as, I want to be on a cover or something like that.

The normal 21-year-old doesn't have to worry about their night out being put on TMZ.

Being a good observer is a great tool to have as a writer, just taking the world in.

That's one of the great thing about writing is that you get to be in someone's head.

My dream job is to be a rock drummer and the alternate drummer for the Foo Fighters.

Life is too precious to worry about what other people are saying or what they think.

I want to experience Dallas. It's a new city where I see new business opportunities.

That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.

I close my eyes while driving and just sing along. I always open them again in time.

It's so important to understand your good attendance ups your chances of graduating.

I think we should be unapologetic that we excel - and look beautiful while doing it.

I'm not sure exactly how gossiping about my life with my audience really helps them.

If you establish a routine for your child, then your routine can be more manageable.

I don't care who you are, but you turn into a different person when you don't sleep.

I'm not a slave driver or a yeller. I was yelled at in kitchens and other workplaces.

I'm always in my pajamas, unless I know for a fact that people are taking my picture.

Pope Francis might turn out to be one of the most popular figures in the world today.

I've been in many relationships in my life and learned a lot from them, good and bad.

I am the type of person who believes an apology should be sincere and from the heart.

I have to say it has been so important to have your friends and family there for you.

There's nothing like experiencing the sights and sounds of a live robot combat event.

You can't get more racist than hating black conservatives just because they're black.

Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.

If Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.

The federal government is enormous; it never shrinks. And the interest is killing us.

If Obama was a sonnet, Trump is a limerick. And really, which ones do you enjoy more?

Contrary to popular belief, I eat all types of food. Fried food is my least favorite.

We are the Captains of Spaceship Earth...we have the capacity to overcome our limits.

No matter how many goals you have achieved, you must set your sights on a higher one.

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