Did you know that the White House drug test is multiple choice?

When I ask questions I'm genuinely curious and trying to learn.

Liberals hate corporations, folks. Corporations are not people.

I think the @Colts should be the #1 team in the power rankings.

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.

Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.

Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.

Other kids did drugs; I did crafts. I never knew where I fit in.

Love in the real world means saying you're sorry 10 times a day.

Over the years my mom has become a self-taught Biblical scholar.

Women still live longer than men because their lives are easier.

When do we ask the Sierra Club to pick up the tab for this leak?

We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax.

I tell you, Bono may have a point. South Africa needs a Walmart.

There is only one way to get rid of nuclear weapons... use them.

Sorry to interrupt myself, but it's the only way I stop talking.

George W. Bush did not go on television to trash [Donald] Trump.

The media did not make Donald Trump, and they can't destroy him.

Nobody knows what Trump is thinking. But they all think they do.

To a lot of people, the Second Amendment is an extreme position.

[Donald] Trump not taking [hillary] Clinton probe off the table.

Republican voters are fed up with Democrats and Democrat policy.

If [Donald] Trump succeeds, then Trump will be the change agent.

Our political system cannot stop the degradation of our culture.

I know what I know, and what I don't know, I'm willing to admit.

Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.

Laughter separates us from despair and gives us a chance at love.

I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.

Bring Your Child to Work Day -- that's how we got George W. Bush.

Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie.

My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money.

God didn't bless me with success so I could eat caviar every day.

The point is Obama didn't care that the jobs were leaving, folks!

[Nancy] Pelosi personifies this [Democratic] party's repudiation.

My father is from the West Indies, the St. Thomas Virgin Islands.

Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?

Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.

There were no bigger stars in the new evangelism than the Bakkers.

Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century.

Women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud.

I've never, like some people are, been embarrassed to be in radio.

If you're gonna watch the Drive-By Media, don't take it seriously.

If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.

I'm never in one place. I also have to be careful at public events.

To me an audition is 30 crazed people in a room waiting to be axed.

For many people religion can be so easy they stumble right over it.

Morality is not defined and cannot be defined by individual choice.

I read my web blogs, my tech blogs, it's highly educational, folks.

A grievance is a political action. It's not just African-Americans.

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