America hasn't been leading anything. We have been blamed the last eight years [2008-2016]. The United States has been nothing special about us. American exceptionalism was mocked and laughed at.

I don't like weeds! My father made me mow weeds and cut weeds when I was a kid. I've hated weeds ever since I was 12 years old. I'll never go in the weeds! I'll never gonna take you in the weeds.

We're in more wars today under Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton than under George W. Bush or Ronald Reagan. Yet they tell you that Bush lied and people died, and we were all over the Middle East.

In order for the Constitution to work, you have to have law-abiding people. You have to have people willing to obey the Constitution, willing to follow the law. Obama doesn't care. He is the law.

The one thing I learned the most about acting is it takes a tremendous amount of courage to go there and stand still. It takes courage and guts to step out of your mind frame and depict something.

The drug lord is on the run. His name is El Chapo. Donald Trump is in a Twitter feud with this Mexican drug lord. It's historic - the first time Americans have ever sided with a Mexican drug lord.

Egypt is in the second day of angry street protests. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is calling for calm. Because nothing calms an enraged Arab country like a powerful woman ordering it around.

In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.

The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'

How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.

I'm a huge supporter of women. What I'm not is a supporter of liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose. Feminism has led women astray. I love the women's movement — especially when walking behind it.

We already have immigration law, and it is being violated. Obama's executive amnesty is not the settled law. [Barak ] Obama's executive amnesty is outside the law, and that's why it's been stayed.

If the Republican Party continues to have a different message for every different group, they're gonna die. We already have a party that does that, and they own it. It's called the Democrat Party.

How in the world do you get mad at somebody for wanting to be black? That's something for which you should get a gold star. That makes you really sensitive. That makes you a really quality person.

I go all the way back to the Founding Fathers. I see the miracle of the founding of this country. It is so special, it's so unique. What needs to be emulated around the world is the United States.

Our presidency is a cut above, we all want the president to be the absolutely finest person and best person that we could elect, but even at that, presidents are not supposed to be unapproachable.

There's nobody better to tell you who's a man and who isn't than a woman. Women will spot manliness, or lack of it, faster than any man will. If you really want to know... It's just the way it is.

Every news agency basically is identical. Now, they may not report stories in the same order, and they may not report stories in the same day, but they all report the same thing about every story.

This administration and these folk who run Washington are no more interested in our welfare and our well being than the man on the moon. And we have got to start taking our destiny into our hands.

In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last two years. The president's exact quote was: 'I ain't make none mistakes ever.'

Al Gore announced he is finishing up a new book about global warming and the environment. Yeah, the first chapter talks about how you shouldn't chop down trees to make a book that no one will read.

According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found that most women would occasionally like to be paid as much as men for doing the same job.

It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.

Liberals are some of the most arrogant, condescending smart alecks, but they're just pure ignorant, and they fit the bill of people who have no love and no respect for the founding of this country.

Given the National Organization for Women's membership and proclivities, it's no wonder that people now view the NOW gang as being obsessed with only two issues: abortion rights and lesbian rights.

Do you know what the primary infrastructure of the United States actually is, ladies and gentlemen? It's freedom - freedom and liberty - and that infrastructure certainly does need some rebuilding.

What incredible arrogance to believe that we limited human beings can destroy that which we cannot even begin to understand - much less create on our own - and that is earth and all of its glories.

And don't forget, Sherrod Brown is black. There's a racial component here, too. And now, the newspaper that I'm reading all this from is The New York Times, and they, of course, don't mention that.

You know I have always tried to be honest with you and open about my life, so I need to tell you that part of what you have heard and read is correct. I am addicted to prescription pain medication.

A corporation exists to provide jobs for the community. A corporation exists to make charitable donations to the symphony or the homeless shelter or whatever it is. That's not why businesses exist.

The Republican Party clearly is not interested in winning. And if you want to be even more specific than that, it is paramountly obvious that they're not even interested in defeating the Democrats.

NBC announced that during the summer Olympics they will set a new record by airing over 1200 hours of coverage. Which is amazing because that's 10 hours longer than the coverage of Reagan's funeral.

Ladies and Gentlemen this fellow combines the classic stylings of a 1950's robot with the dynamic flair of a 1970's street pimp....that's right, boys and girls every where, your friend Pimpbot 5000!

An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the match and saying, 'What are we fighting for, man?'

Arnold Schwarzenegger has hired billionaire Warren Buffett as his senior economic advisor. And not to be outdone Gary Coleman announced his senior economic adviser will be Thurston Howell the Third.

I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you.

Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.

Today we live in a cash-for-trash world. Anyone can stand up and say anything unkind, unfair or completely untrue about you, and then they are rewarded financially for it ... because life is unfair.

We're led to believe everybody opposes it and disagrees with political correctness, but yet everybody's scared to death of it. So who is it? Well, it's the power structure wherever you happen to be.

It's very rare that you have a liberal run as an unabashed liberal. They have to lie about it. They have to mask who they are. And in order for them to survive and thrive, they have to keep that up.

I've been racking my brain. I've been trying to figure out how Bob Dole's luggage got on my airplane...I told the doctor, I said, 'Look, I'm worried about the next election.' ... A misunderstanding.

It's comprised of both Republicans and Democrats and their membership in this club known as the establishment, party affiliation is second or third in terms of your qualifications to be in the club.

Let's not forget something on this prosecuting Hillary [Clinton] business. It's not just [Donald] Trump supporters. Bernie Sanders supporters are gonna be among those who are not happy to hear this.

It's crucial that people think that their lives have meaning and a purpose and that there's a reward or some sort of reality to achieving something and to learning something and becoming functional.

Every time we have a mass murder we're gonna go to the memorial or we're gonna grade the president's performance at the memorial to determine whether or not we're being effective in dealing with it?

We try it practically every time it comes up, be it amnesty, be it any other issue they want. We try and it gets us nowhere, and it doesn't get us any favors among left-wing-inclined voters, either.

If you look at America now as a giant ship, before we can turn it around and go the other way, we've got to stop. This has been our problem all along. We haven't really advanced anything we believe.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

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