The White House has announced that they no longer recognize Fox as a news organization, which puts them about eight years behind the rest of us.

North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.

I'm not the one calling Trumpists the equivalent of a cult. The Drive-Bys, some of them do, as a means of not having to deal with you seriously.

The Democrat Party and the media, they're just not educated. But they think they are, and they are smug and arrogant about what they don't know.

I have no interest in being wrong, so if I am, please correct me. I don't want to be wrong. There's nothing in it for you or for me to be wrong.

If you have a full understanding of what we’re up against and the leadership of your country doesn’t, well, hello. That’s life in America today.

In the first place, I don`t think [Donald] Trump has changed that much from what em. I never took him serious highway this [immigration policy].

Leftists don't leave it at winning at the ballot box. If they lose at the ballot box, they force themselves on the country or society elsewhere.

[Donald] Trump doesn't give up and let [the Democrats] have what they want. But people around Trump and some others in the world of politics do.

When I say something about anything, there's really not much left to be said. Which is why I don't tell you everything I think about everything.

If anybody's out of touch in America, if there is this big divide and big disconnect, it's in the Democrat Party and the people of this country.

New research shows that men and women are born different. What must you think if that is shocking news to you? Men and women are born different.

It's just that that feels discriminatory to me, "the ideal woman." The concept of ideal is fleeting. It's like "perfect." There's no such thing.

Trump's done nothing but be a great friend of Israel, and yet he's being tagged with anti-Semitism here. It doesn't make any intellectual sense.

People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida.

The U.S. Census Bureau reports that American homes are 650 square feet larger today than they were in 1980. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.

After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell me who the other nominees are - and I will eliminate them.'

First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don't worry, Vice President Biden is going to be OK.

Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.

President Obama announced that he's going to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba. He wants to act before Seth Rogen makes a movie about Castro.

In the past I've been hard on the vegans. I've called them Prius-driving fascists, but now I am one of them. I have been turned to the dark side.

They're saying now that Rick Santorum is gaining momentum because he's not Romney. And Mitt Romney was furious. He replied, 'Well, I can do that.

You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.

I love the protests. And if you think about it, what better way to send a message to Wall Street than by sitting in a pup tent banging on a drum.

President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry administration.

The cookie-cutter liberal, the standard operating procedure liberal, is really a giant ignoramus. I mean that seriously. They're really ignorant.

I live in Realville, and my problem is that I'm governed by logic. And some of the claims that are made by people on the left just don't hold up.

Global warming is a political issue. It is as much a political issue to the left as abortion is. It's as big a political issue as health care is.

Obamacare is making people divorce so they can afford it. And divorce hurts women and the children, and that is Obamacare and their War on Women.

The American people don't want Obamacare. It has been forced on the American people, despite the fact that Democrats no longer control the House.

It's almost an addiction that some people have to what I call the perfection that Hollywood presents of successful, beautiful, fun-loving people.

The founders wanted to make it hard for laws to be passed. They wanted to make it hard for there to be restrictions on the freedom of the people.

The Clintons have sold everything about America and its policy and its future for their own personal gain in terms of amassing incredible wealth.

It's actually four, because the fifth state they get the advantage with a tie. It's literally four states out of 50, 57 if you're [Barack] Obama.

There is no country on earth that has done more for our own poor and for the poor around the world. We are not the ones that need to be targeted.

My family is all lawyers. Most people when they come on shows like this, "I'm proud of the first member of my family to get a college education."

In the press this week, NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I'm such an idiot they now want me to run the network.

Promoting his new book, President Bush visited the headquarters of Facebook. Unfortunately, he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush.

The Northeast is being hit with a major snowstorm. Forecasters said they've haven't seen a whiteout like this since last week's Oscar nominations.

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

President Obama answered questions on YouTube today. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. And that was just from Chad in Portland.

Today Secretary of State John Kerry visited the small African nation of Djibouti. Or to use the official diplomatic term, he made a Djibouti call.

The 3-D effects in "Star Wars" are so realistic, you can actually see George Lucas reaching from the screen and taking the money from your wallet.

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.

Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

We are hated because we are free. We are hated because of the idea that is the United States of America. We are hated because of our Constitution.

Free speech gives us the ability to react vigorously with effective arguments and expose the weakness and misdirection of the other side's claims.

Scandals never stop an administration unless the media wants them to stop an administration, which means that no scandal is ever gonna stop Obama.

The president of the United States is a pretty important position, and it's the ideas and policies that matter to me, not the color of their skin.

She [Hillary Clinton] knew that's who he[Bill clinton] was before they got married. It would have been hypocritical for her to insist on monogamy.

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