Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.
Insiders say Obama's pretty comfortable around actors. He should be. He has been 'acting' like he was born in Hawaii for a long time.
Happy Cinco de Mayo. If you don't know what that means, maybe you're a little out of touch - or maybe you're the governor of Arizona.
President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, 'Don't worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian marriage.'
There is no fringe in the Democrat Party. They are all extreme, radical leftists, socialists, neocoms, whatever you want to call 'em.
Liberals sit from this lofty perch of pomposity, but they are the champions of ignorance. They don't know what they're talking about.
I've been around so long, I can remember when it was a rhetorical question to ask, "Is the pope Catholic?" Now it's a legit question.
If people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.
[Mitt] Romney did not have and never did have a large group of supporters that were personally attached, connected, and loyal to him.
I don't think immigration is what's happening in our country. I think an invasion is what is happening, particularly southern border.
Hillary Clinton is a dead fish when it comes to being entertaining and alive. Without a prompter and a written script, she's nothing.
Republicans are being loyal to their donors. They're being loyal to the paymasters, if you will. And it's squandering an opportunity.
Most of the new jobs that people are getting are part time because of Obamacare. Obamacare is falling out exactly as it was designed.
I believe there is nothing we endure in life that you can't recover from. Failure is not fatal. Everyone has the capacity to fail up.
A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, 'I had more leg room in the womb.'
Analysts say Obama's new immigration plan will focus on deporting violent criminals. So, this could impact your fantasy football team.
NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew The Apprentice. So some good may come out of this.
Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan ... which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now Geraldo Rivera.
Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.
Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I've got to change stuff. Then I'm not doing it.
You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes.
The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?
You all know Newt Gingrich. Newt is short for Newton. People say if that's the case, what is Mitt short for? It's short for 'Mittens.'
That's the definition of 'success' for the modern Democrat Party. As many people dependent on government as possible is the objective.
Men aging makes them look more authoritative, accomplished, distinguished. Sadly, it's not that way for women, and they will tell you.
Obama's got a health care logo that's right out of Adolf Hitler's playbook ... Adolf Hitler, like Barack Obama, also ruled by dictate.
I'm just wondering, folks, if I gave a speech on anti-capitalism, do you think I could be named Person of the Year by 'TIME Magazine?'
If you don't like going to the DMV, imagine if the only place you could go to resolve a health care problem is some government agency.
[Donald] Trump just said that he thinks his supporters will be okay and understanding with his decision not to prosecute the Clintons.
It is preposterous to believe that the Russians had any effect on the outcome of voting in America. It's absurd. There is no evidence.
Bill Clinton did everything in opposition to Black Lives Matter and the things that animate the existence of the Democrat Party today.
[Donald] Trump at a press conference personally asked the Russians to get involved in the search [of missed Hillary Clinton's emails].
Obamacare premiums are of no concern to people in the establishment. Same thing with illegal immigration, same thing with trade deals.
It looks like they [the Republicans] don't want to win if it means winning with [Donald] Trump. They must really hate Trump out there.
According to a CNN poll, Trump nearly doubled his support from March. Actually, he just combed his March numbers over his current ones.
At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion dollars.'
If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.
The Japanese Prime Minister has apologized for Japan's part in World War II. However, he still hasn't mentioned anything about karaoke.
Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century.
Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.
The Democrats are having all kinds of problems uniting people here, and Barack Obama is the lead unifier, and it ain't going to happen.
[T]he nags ... the national association of gals, that's our pet name for the NOW gang ... the nags are a bunch of whores to liberalism.
I think it's a scary thing for a lot of people to think of the government not being involved in their lives, particularly single women.
There is no news media. There's simply a bunch of people on television and in newspapers who are ranking members of the Democrat Party.
Not every corporation is a great bunch of people. Like in any group of people, you're gonna have bad apples, bad actors here and there.
Did the media ever question anything about Obamacare, the intricate do's and don'ts, the policy cogs? No.[Barack] Obama just wanted it.
The idea that people are incapable of making up their own minds about people is something that Obama and his party live with every day.
The only people who need to be "giving back" are thieves, criminals and corrupt individuals that are taking things that are not theirs.
Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.