Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Yesterday was Election Day. If we have any Democrats in the audience, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give up your seats.
John McCain said that Sarah Palin is still a force in the Republican Party. Then he got in his car and backed over his mailbox.
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
I collect cigars. I love giving 'em away to people that really enjoy 'em, and I could think of no better place than West Point!
Liberals want the government to get bigger, and they want you to drive smaller cars, and they want to dictate the way you live.
When you talk about taxing the rich, you're taxing capital, and taxing capital results in damage to more than just the wealthy.
The Republicans need to work on registration and getting out their vote and their early voters and absentees. Grassroots stuff.
I've had so many people tell me that they are shocked that AM radio still even exists with all the different listening options.
It's pretty damning. That's Hillary Clinton juxtaposed against the FBI Director Comey yesterday, clearly illustrating she lied.
Strategizing how to use it, how to promote it, how to use it as a campaign aid? I can't find any reference to [climate change].
Most of the nations around the world are led by tyrants and dictators and thugs who are leading their countries for one reason.
Nobody ever leaves the KGB, by the way. Once you're there, no matter what you say you've done next, nobody ever leaves the KGB.
The Russians could not have had any impact whatsoever on voting in America, either how they were cast or how they were counted.
The summit is the mere formality, the ceremonial demonstration of what was agreed to long ago, weeks, months before the summit.
The Democrats want corporations to shut down and move, because it allows them to tell you how rotten and mean corporations are.
Most of my critics don't even listen to me; they are clueless. They just go to Web sites that report what I say out of context.
I go to work every day with two missions. Two! No. 1: how can I make my bosses more money? And No. 2: how can I get some of it?
Trump Entertainment Resorts declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Or as Donald Trump describes Chapter 11, "Back-to-back number ones!"
Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had named you 'Jeb.'
They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.
Pseudoscience describes theories that sound like science but are actually just made up, like aromatherapy or biorhythms or love.
He has been greatly missed since his retirement ... Thank God for videotapes and DVDs. In this regard, he will always be around.
I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
A priest in New York City was arrested on gun possession. These days, you better be happy that the bulge in his pocket is a .38.
Diversity, to the left, means minorities get even with, minorities triumph, minorities get payback. That's what diversity means.
Do you know we have more acreage of forest land in the United States today than we did at the time the Constitution was written?
There isn't one thing the federal government does that anybody in Big Business would emulate, at least not in the profit sector.
It's easy to be a victim. Look how easy the Democrat Party has made almost half this country think they're victims of something.
One of the things that drives Trump's popularity is that he sticks it to these people in the media. And people love seeing that.
What you really want to do, the objective is to get as many students coming out of there thinking differently than they went in.
It isn't personal per se to document what the Republican Party leadership is doing and how they're abrogating actual leadership.
Hillary Clinton and the Democrat Party have overseen the destruction of one of the greatest systems of health care in the world.
When the presidential debates are on, I'll watch that like it's the Super Bowl. I actually thoroughly enjoy that. I always have.
Nietzsche famously said "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.
Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.
You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own.
Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to fall.
A new restaurant here in Southern California requires women to wear high heels. I'm outraged! This is sexist! Why just the women?
Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man - he already has all of his sex scandals behind him.
Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.
The Electoral College protects state sovereignty. It actually is one of the most brilliantly conceived electoral mechanisms ever.
The Kennedy lifestyle is something that is looked upon favorably by the elites throughout our culture, both political and social.
The way liberals are interpreting the First Amendment today is that it prevents anyone who is religious from being in government.
It's easier to list Hollywood and TV people who don't have a radio show now, take less time to do that than to list those who do.
I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated.
Innocent Americans are murdered, and what happens? An entire political party and an amendment to the US Constitution gets blamed.