Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami.
Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.
This is exactly why the Electoral College is set up the way it is, so that one state would not elect the president.
Citizen service is a repudiation of the principles upon which our country was based. We are all here for ourselves.
When you don't behave the way liberals think you should, their effort and their intention to control you compounds.
In the old days, the media is who held people accountable when they lied in politics. That isn't happening anymore.
Legal immigration is a much tougher group of people to stereotype and to identify as potential new Democrat voters.
There's no thought given to the individual because there aren't any individuals in socialism; everybody's the same.
As far as liberals are concerned, the Democrats are concerned, when the New York Times clears you, you are cleared.
The Republican Party was just as scared of the Tea Party as the Democrats were. We just didn't know it at the time.
When you have no defensiveness about what you think but rather you totally believe it, you are passionate about it.
Therefore, the substance of [Donald] Trump policies never got covered, because it wasn't what interested the media.
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for.
Over the weekend Mitt Romney went body surfing. He has not body surfed since the '90s when he starred on 'Baywatch.'
When the United States of America does things in its best interests, it is hated. I'm sorry, that just ticks me off.
Hillary Clinton's been around for 30 years. Why do these stories need to be told? It isn't all of this widely known?
The Never Trumpers, many of them are establishment types or - and very important here - wannabe establishment types.
The dirty little secret, folks, is Obama is not only for occupying Wall Street. He also wants to occupy Main Street.
The establishment isn't new. The establishment not wanting outsiders, not wanting conservatives, isn't anything new.
You can't go out and adopt Democrat policies all the way or halfway to show that you're not what they think you are.
I don't immerse myself in the media narrative every day. I establish my own media narrative, and that's what I live.
You go to school, you get a master's degree, you study Shakespeare and you wind up being famous for plastic glasses.
It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.
I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.
I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.
Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing.
I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.
Hey, guess who's gay? The Green Lantern from the comic books. Today Mitt Romney knocked him down and shaved his head.
At the Apple store, the people waiting in line for the iPhone 6 were trampled by the people waiting for the iPhone 7.
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
That thing, multiculturalism, has basically taken over the curriculum, or what is taught in the public school system.
I'm not opposed to the protection of animals. But the best way to do that is to make sure some human being owns them.
The Republican Party may be forever reconstituted and changed, which may not be a bad thing either, in and of itself.
Liberalism has consequences. It has never worked, folks! It has never worked. And it has never fulfilled its promise.
It's an expansion. And it's a stealth mechanism to put the tentacles of socialized medicine even deeper into society.
I think if Donald Trump skipped out on a debate, for whatever reason he gave, I don't think it would help him at all.
The left are afraid of independent thinkers. They are afraid of people who are able to reason and think on their own.
Hey, I was lucky twice. I know it's three strikes and you're out. I don't think of myself as being invincible anymore.
How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.
I worry about Rick Perry. One, he's too conservative, Two, his debating skills. And three ... Oh crap, what was three?
As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.
Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.
Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able to do the show.
The people who didn't vote for [Donald Trump], didn't watch his rallies. They only know what the media said about him.
I was doing what I thought I had to do. There was romance in the idea of being married. It was just the wrong reasons.
If you want to find out what the future of the Republican Party is if Hillary Clinton wins, take a look at California.
Isn't it just heart-stopping and mind-numbing when you stop and realize that the Republican Party doesn't want to win?
Bill Clinton is the guy that said, "The era of Big Government is over." Whether or not he meant it or not, he said it.