Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Women deal with real issues with policing that don't really get talked about.
I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'
I don't think of myself as an American Master. I've just been making a living.
Why even moon a sorority girl if they can't see the swingy egg bag part of it?
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.
Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.
I'm the artist when I'm doing music that I am when I'm acting. I'm everything.
I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.
What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that.
I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it.
Movies, obviously, are a little more lucrative. The initial paycheck is better.
Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.
I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.
People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.
Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?
Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips!"
..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?
I was 13 when I was started questioning and 16 when I stopped believing in God.
I learned more at The Second City than I did at Yale for all that high tuition.
If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts.
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
The American dream? We don't have a dream in Britain because we're bloody awake!
You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system.
I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category.
Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control.
I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.
When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
I want to talk about the nature of human beings or how we're evolving as a race.
You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
It's really hard for a lot of men to have the woman accomplishing more than them.
Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?
I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.
The chances of anyone of any race getting their own show are, like, .001 percent.
I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that's what I'm most comfortable doing.
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.
I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.
On stage I just have to be myself. In acting you have to be so many other people.
Hip-hop was a big part of my life growing up, especially West Coast gangster rap.
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
I don't live under the illusion we don't need a military to protect this country.
My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.
I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.