Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.
You know, I just want to say to her (Sarah Palin), just very quickly...F-- you.
Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
You can buy [John McCain's] book, but in a week and a half, he'll have another.
People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television.
Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.
The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average.
I briefly thought of becoming a priest but quickly saw that would be ridiculous.
I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.
Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit
Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.
If we're free to do what we want, why does government always have a plan for us?
The Soviet constitution guarantees everyone a job. A pretty scary idea, I'd say.
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
Never strike anyone so old, small or weak that verbal abuse would have sufficed.
Mike Kelly [from The Atlantic] called me up and said he could pay me less money.
Demolishing pretensions, especially worthy ones, is a hallmark of the baby boom.
Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference.
it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
I'll make fun of anybody. We're all about falling down and going boom on camera.
Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
Islam's not just about covering your hair. It's about how you treat other people.
President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth.
The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians.
The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place!
To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor.
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad.
Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System.
Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.
I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
Theocratic and military authorities share one thing: they have no sense of humour.
The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!
Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.
Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
The political process consists entirely of politicians talking out of their butts.
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.