Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?
Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance.
We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.
As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.
I'll pick "I'm kidding" anytime over "I'm lying."
Any terrorism is an attack on libertarian values.
I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.
The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
B students work for C students - A students teach.
Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.
I love the truth. It's the facts I'm not a fan of.
I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
My friend Bill O’Reilly is completely full of sh*t.
The sacred exists only at the expense of the truth.
I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.
A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.
Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
I'll keep doing it until I die or the audiences die.
Humor is, by its nature, more truthful than factual.
You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
I didn't realize what fun it was [ been a reporter].
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Congress, the legislative stone in America's urethra.
I never thought I'd say this, but I miss voter fraud.
'Powell movement.' What do you think 'PM' stands for?
No one is better at not beating America than England.
This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.
Industrialization came to England but has since left.
I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.
(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
I didn't see any NRA officials killing babies in Waco.
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.
I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.
I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
People! Take to the streets and scream 'BE REASONABLE!'
Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.
Warning, I may contain more than a trace amount of nut.
The Book of Mormon is so good it makes me f**king angry.
I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance
Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done.
The only thing that goes with Crocs is social Ostracism.