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With this job, always traveling on the plane and everything, I thought it would be really difficult to quit drinking on my own because you're always in situations where it's acceptable to have drinks. So I decided right after a show that I was going to go into treatment. I Googled a bunch of places, and I found this place that I went to in Cape Town, South Africa, called Stepping Stones. I stayed there for a month. It was really difficult-lots of talking and crying.
I really love any and all manifestations of art, really respect any kind of artistic impulse, whether it's paintings and sculptures or really good filmmaking or music. I really see the relationships between these different mediums as very fluid. I think you see that nowadays, in this postmodern context, there's much more use of different mediums in contemporary art. For me, if you're a creative person, you can choose to make a painting, you can choose to make a film.
I am a big believer that you can have a successful business and give back; it's just about the intention behind starting your business. Of course, your margins aren't going to be as good as they would be if you were just a straight consumer goods fashion company, but obviously the purpose is so much greater. It takes some balancing to figure out how much you can afford to give, but it's definitely possible - and all the more meaningful, if you can strike that balance.
I think subjectivity plays into everything. It's unavoidable; you couldn't avoid it if you tried. I think, potentially, a lot more commercial movies, it seems to be that the people making the films are trying to elicit the same reaction. I think a lot of the most interesting work in art and in films are often kind of polarized opinions and affect people in very different ways, which may be less successful commercially, but they elicit a dialogue that's quite interesting.
I've learned that if I only put my mind to one thing that I can get tunnel vision. Then I may not be as open to other opportunities because I'm so focused on one thing. I think what's worked better for me personally is I have three goals every day: be nice, work hard and make friends. Those are my daily goals, and I feel like those are the things that create opportunity and creating connections that will then lead to other things that I may not have planned for otherwise.
Everyone fixes up their face if it’s not ideal, you know? That’s because of the race-mixing. For example, a Russian marries an Armenian. They have a kid, a cute girl, but she has her dad’s nose. She goes and files it down a little, and it’s all good. Ethnicities are mixing now, so there’s degeneration, and it didn’t used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this.
Looking good kept me out of trouble. When I worked for Michael Alig, everybody was overdoing partying. It would take me so long to get ready, because I was never one of those girls that were naturally the cover of Vogue. I had to really work hard to look nice. I would take hours and hours to get ready. If you have high heels on, if you're dressed nice, you really can't be drunk or sloppy because it's dangerous. It's part of being a lady, so it really kept me out of trouble.
Seven years I worked at the Polish deli. It's a very slow deli. So I sat around a lot on my stool at the cashier. And I'd sign my autograph on all the bags I'd put the milk in. Just everyday, practice my autograph. And the manager of the store would take some of them and tape them against the wall. And he'd say, "Some day, I'm telling you, it will be worth something." And I'm like 13, going, "Really?!" And when I go back there, he still has them on the wall. It's very cute.
I think knowing you're not alone is important. This generation is already better at standing up for themselves, saying, "No! You're not going to treat me like that. My standards are higher." But we can provide more education through stories. Just because someone who is older or with more authority says you have to do something, there's no reason you need to. One good thing is that there are new rules about how old you can be on set - more regulations. I think those are good.
I might sound like a crazy person, but that's the way I pump myself up. You know how some people are just like 'I have to talk about it'? Sometimes I'll call my husband and we'll talk about it, sometimes I have to talk to myself in the mirror. So I start talking to myself: 'You got this. Don't think of this as Sports Illustrated, just think about this as the best swimsuit campaign you've done in your life. And just kill it and own it and don't put that pressure on yourself.'
Well, that's why I really love Diego Della Valle, because he's crazy. Instead of going out to find a top business school graduate, for whom it would have taken five years to see the difference between a ballet shoe and a book, he asked me to revive the label. It's a bit like Balenciaga. Brands like Vivier are pillars - they are monuments of fashion; they are names we don't forget. But the general public doesn't necessarily know that and therefore we had to get the name re-known.
We ran well there in the November 2012, my first race with (Tony) Gibson (as crew chief). Unfortunately, we haven't left there without a torn up race car. We got caught up in accidents in November of 2012 and then again in November 2013. We cut a tire and crashed last spring, so it'd be nice to have a good clean run with the GoDaddy car. I like Phoenix and Gibson has won there a few times. Hopefully our luck will turn around and we can have a good smooth run and get back on track.
It's very different - the European way of working and the American way of working. There are two sides for each of them. In Italy, or France, we take it very slow. For example, we would have a lunch break of an hour or more. Just sitting down at the table, chitchatting. In America, it's like, "Grab your sandwich, we're ready to shoot in 10 minutes." But at the same time, everything works so much better in America. It's more efficient, so it's easier to bring the results home faster.
I'm also lonely. I'll admit it. I go to Twitter because I'm lonely. I get my coffee in the morning, and I live alone. I get on Twitter, and I sit and have my coffee. Sometimes I'll look at it for 30 minutes. I will waste a lot of time on Twitter. I do! But it's my guilty pleasure. And I'll look for some happy stories to retweet, and I'll say some uplifting things to people. I try not to get caught into - I used to get tangled up into some crazy stuff. But I try not to do that anymore.
I'd say probably the most epic experience was before the Victoria's Secret show - I think it was before the casting - and I saw Naomi Campbell at a party. I was saying that I was nervous about my walk and she said "Come to my hotel tomorrow and we're going to practice." So I went in New York and we practiced in the hallway of her hotel with all of the hotel staff watching. She just said "Don't even flinch. Keep going!" It was hilarious, but I think that was kind of a confidence booster.
People assume, because I'm Hef's girlfriend, that I'm a Bunny and I'm a Playmate and I'm a centerfold, but they're different things. If you're a Playmate or a centerfold, which is the same thing, you pose for the magazine, you are one particular month, and not every Playmate is a Bunny. A Bunny is a girl who used to work at the Playboy Club, she had the Bunny costume, and now that we don't have Playboy Clubs, it's just Playmates who work special promotions and are fitted for a Bunny costume.
I think in some ways people kind of hate it, but most models recognize that it's a pretty easy job to make a lot of money at in a relatively short time, and you get to travel the world and meet a lot of interesting people. There are extreme highs and extreme lows. I think if it were as clear-cut as "models hate it," then they wouldn't do it. I really enjoyed a lot of the actual aspects of it, but not enough to make it my primary job. It can be quite empty, which is why I pursued other things.
Music, for the moment, has been this hidden thing for me. For the first time, I am master of something. I am not used by someone else, like in movies or pictures, where you always have the happiness or disappointment of knowing it's you seen through someone else's point of view. You go to see a film and half of the pretty scenes are not in it-the ones you liked. Living with this frustration all the time, suddenly music came as the best thing for me at home, where no one can tell you anything.
For me, glamour was always an escape. When I was a kid, my mother was hospitalized, she was schizophrenic. When she was sick, she wouldn't do her hair or her makeup, and she just looked terrible. But when she got on medication and she was happy, she would go to the beauty parlor and wear makeup. So I really associate glamour with being happy. If you put on high heels and lipstick or get a new outfit, you feel great. It's a celebration of loving yourself, and the whole ritual of it is so great.
I'm pretty faithful to one fragrance, but I go through phases. It's more about times and moods than moments in the week. In my life, I don't really have a Saturday and Sunday - you might get days off in the middle of the week and work on the weekend. I wear Roberto Cavalli all the time now. Fragrance is an extension of yourself, you need to feel like it's part of you and you can wear it in any situation and it just represents you, any time of the day, any time of the week, any time of the month.
Marriage is a pretty amazing thing when you think about it. For two people to live together for so long under the same roof is a big accomplishment. Fifty-year anniversaries are becoming extinct, yet again proving that long marriages deserve awards and praise. Sometimes I see old people in restaurants sitting together eating their meals and I watch them. Sometimes it makes me sad. They don't even talk. Is it because they have nothing else to say, or can they simply read each other's mind by now?
America is really tough on mothers, especially going to work again. A lot of women have to breast-pump, and they can't do that at work, and they only have two weeks' maternity leave. I'm very lucky that I get to pick and choose. And it helps that all my agents are women, and very protective of me. But for other working mothers here, support from their employers is not good enough. It shouldn't even be an issue. It's really important to be able to raise your kid without a fear of losing your job.
Amanda [Bynes] and I are the same age so I grew up watching her and really looking up to her and for me, to see this path that's happening and to watch it, is kind of really affecting me in ways that I didn't think it would. It's weird to be in a situation where you can't help. I obviously don't know her at all but I want to bring her back and I want to make her happy and healthy for some reason and she's not there and we can't do anything to help so it kind of sucks. All we're doing is hurting it.
In my country, families are raised as though they are one. Although I am from the Dinka tribe, my parents didn't raise us as the Dinka tribe. They raised us as the Wek family, in the way they believed their children should grow up. So when you leave, the first thing you think is the ones you left behind. It's natural to help them in any way you can. I found a way to support myself rather than asking my Mum to give me money. I would work before school and send money back to pay for their rent and food.
People used to think I was so strange because my toiletry bag used to contain so many grooming items and cosmetics and stuff. But I think it's more acceptable these day for guys to take care of themselves. I think it's becoming more commonplace, not just for sportsmen, but for all guys to take care of themselves. Taking care of yourself is a nice thing to do. It's not seen as just a girl thing anymore. You see a lot more guys at the gym taking care of themselves, and I think it's going to continue to grow.
People stopping you in the street, though, is very different from being hounded by the press, which is the kind of attention that celebrities get, and I'm probably too old for that kind of thing to happen anyway. I think it happens more when you're dating all sorts of different very handsome actors or something. They want gossip and scandal, and they know they're not going to get it from me because I'm too old to be scandalous. Of course, they could read the book - although it's not really a scandalous book.
I was pretty self-conscious about my body because everybody kept going on like, "Oh, she's so curvy!" and "She's a plus-size model!" and this and that. It's all people would talk about - how I'm not very skinny. For a while, it made me pretty upset and I got a bit obsessive about it. I did a bunch of dieting and exercising and everything. I was losing weight, but I was still much bigger than everybody else. I didn't really see the point of making myself crazy anymore, so I kind of toned it down a little bit.
It's a fun movie Death Note. Despite the fact that it's about killing people, it's even comical. But, there is an underlying message. I think we're in a place right now where everyone is really frustrated, and there's a lot of hate in the world and a lot of bullies and bigotry. Having the opportunity to get rid of that would be amazing. I wish that I could write down a whole concept, rather than a specific name. Rather than kill somebody, I'd like to write down "evil" in the notebook. That would be fantastic!
I think people in the fasion industry need to listen more and not look the other way when someone has a voice. We need to stop sending girls and boys to photographers or professionals who are known to be abusive. There should be a much more controlled environment in place for young models to protect them, and this should be led and supported by professionals in the industry. We need to create an environment in which models feel safe sharing information about their on-set experiences, instead of being silenced.
That's a very privileged attitude and I think the ignorance is so strong there. When people say, "Oh please, I don't want to hear that conversation," it's because it makes them uncomfortable." But that's because they think it's all okay. If it was racist, I would move onto someone whose mind I could change, but it's mostly ignorance. So when someone says, "Oh, it doesn't matter," I not only make designers responsible but casting directors and modeling agencies for not pushing those other girls on to the designers.
I'm still a tomboy. I mean, I obviously dress it up slightly more, but when I'm just me, I'm still very casual. I love comfort. Comfort is very key to me because I spend most of my time in very uncomfortable things, so it's all about trainers and flats. On a shoot, if they're like, "Play around a bit," I'm going to be climbing on top of things and jumping off, and people are going to be trying to stop me, like, "You mucked this up," and, "You're going to hurt yourself," while I'm flying around in heels, just being crazy.
Social media has had a huge impact on the industry. Models now have voices. We are connected directly to millions of people, and we are no longer just pretty faces modeling clothes. This has allowed us to reach a broad audience. This platform for models to connect directly with their fans has started to shift the power dynamic in the industry, but there's still a long way to go. I think we are heading in the right direction, as more people start to see the value in inviting models in the creative and collaborative process.
Sometimes I am still surprised that I'm a model and that people think I'm good-looking. I've gone through a lot of different phases on what I do and why I do it - morally and ethically. I've tortured myself about it, especially in dealing with success and money. I just had to learn to look at it as a job, as opposed to identifying myself as a model and thinking of myself as a part of this industry. I just thought, Okay, this is an opportunity to learn and see and meet people. Still, I am a Scorpio and I'm quite competitive.
Models have a stigma that they can't act. You're also, to be quite blunt, you're tall and not a lot of actors are tall and when you are starting out you're obviously not the first one cast, so you're trying to fit into a mold. You're quite often not cast as the quirky best friend, but you don't have the experience to be cast as the lead. So it can be really tricky. One of the biggest things is just to get your people, so to speak, your agents and managers to take you seriously. That's one of the issues I had when I came out to LA.
I think we, as a fasion industry, need to hold people accountable for their actions. I want people to realize that models have a voice, and a powerful one at that. I want all models to be treated with more respect because that's what we all want - basic respect and to not be treated like objects with no will. I hope that models can be more empowered to say 'no' or give their opinion without being labeled as difficult. Modeling should be a collaboration. If the makeup artist, photographer and stylist all contribute, why can't models?
It's very good for you, riding. Every model is like, "I do yoga." I find horses have the same effect, in that you have to put your ego aside and concentrate on making the horse do the things you want it to do, and move in the way you want it to move. So you have to use your body to help this horse do incredibly difficult movements that don't come naturally to it. And if something goes wrong, it's not the horse's fault; it's always your fault. So you have to be quite levelheaded. And then the whole nature aspect of it is very calming.
I've always looked at people like Carine Roitfeld, Donatella Versace, DVF...people who when you walk on a set you feel like they still have so much excitement for what they're doing every day and they just have so much youth even though they've been doing it for so long. Every day just working to keep a young spirit - because even when you're young that's hard to do, because you get so caught up in things. I just think it's so important to make an effort every day to have a young spirit. Then when you get older, you always kind of keep that.
There is an interesting and new way to be excited about the fashion world today maybe. The traditional path of fashion as simple magazine images has dissolved - we are seeing new and innovative ways to share, create, and enjoy ideas. I am challenged to learn and explore paths of finding new photographers, stylists, and vision-makers online or through direct contact, connecting with ideas and creativity in new ways, and making images with different outlets. Sometimes more unbridled avenues and unconventional ways lead to things I wouldn't have thought of yet.
The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognize myself anymore. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning-I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, "I can't live like this." It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab.
Eating a RAW food lifestyle is the purest and best way to live. Many of the strongest and longest living animals are raw, such as the panda bear and gorillas. Self love has brought me to a RAW lifestyle. Feeding my body with pure natural energy. Most people's perception is what has been ingrained inside them by manipulation, but slowly there is a shift in consciousness, one person at a time. People will ask more questions, begin to stand up for themselves, go their “own way”, take better care of themselves, which will benefit everyone and everything around them.
I think that the work that's left to be done - and I see the end in sight at this point - is to just let go and stop talking about it. It's definitely 'stop talking about the whole size thing.' I don't go to my girlfriend's house and say, 'Hey, I'm your big friend, let's talk about big things.' It's not a topic of conversation within my friend group - I'm ready for society, Hollywood, the press, magazines, everyone, to just catch up and say, 'These women are just like the women we've been using for so long. Let's just throw them into the mix and stop talking about it.'
I remember one of the first things Helmut Newton on one of his last shoots, in 2004, said was that he couldn't believe how thin I was. He was like, "Whatever happened to women?" He also made me wear rubber nipples. It was amazing to be in a situation where you have to create but you don't feel any pressure. He had such confidence that it made things really easy. There's a natural sort of process of something coming to life, which I really liked. It was like, "We're here, and let's make you lay on a bed of nails." But it didn't seem contrived or overly thought-out. It was easy.
I think there are so many young girls out there who may be discouraged by the images they see in magazines or on TV, because it's such a media-driven culture. But people will be a lot more accepting of themselves when they feel included. Through my website, I'm in touch with a 13-year-old girl from Brazil; like me, she was born with a piece of her arm missing. She thanked me for the work I'm doing and said I give her strength, inspiration and confidence. Showing a young girl like that how you can be happy and have feelings of confidence is one of my biggest achievements to date.
Many friends have expressed concern that a religious fanatic will try to kill me when I go to Africa. After all, I’ll be speaking out against a crime many fundamentalists consider a holy practice. I’m sure my work will be dangerous, and I admit to being scared…. But my faith tells me to be strong, that God led me down this path for a reason. He has work for me to do. This is my mission. And I believe that long before the day I was born, God chose the day I will die, so I can’t change that. In the meantime, I might as well take a chance, because that’s what I’ve done all my life.
I made a vow to God [in 2010], after so many letdowns and the relationship with my ex, I knew I really didn't want to continue making the same mistakes anymore. Women nowadays, we connect physically too soon without actually getting to know the person. If you don't actually give this person your body and then they let you down, there really isn't a great disappointment; not like it would be if you have already connected physically. I started going on that journey, and I thought to myself, you know what, the next man that I give my body to will be the man that God brought into my life.
No matter what level you're starting at, it's about not only utilizing your time, but your resources and network. For me, I started my company with a small amount of savings; I never had investors and I was lucky in the sense that I had models and connections in the fashion industry who were willing to give me advice early on. So really, for anyone starting a new business, it's really important to seek out mentors and knowledge from those who have come before you. And to not let that be discouraging, but to take that advice and really learn from it and mold it to what you're trying to do.
People use me as a figurehead, and to me that misses the point and is blatantly offensive to thin women - my sister, for one. Curves don't epitomise a woman. Saying, 'Skinny is ugly' should be no more acceptable than saying fat is. I find all this stuff a very controlling and effective way of making women obsess over their weight, instead of exploiting their more important attributes, such as intellect, strength and power. We could be getting angry about unequal pay and unequal opportunities, but we're too busy being told we're not thin enough or curvy enough. We're holding ourselves back.
I saw so many innocent lives, especially children, who were literally robbed of their potential because they're not given the food and nutrition that they need to get by. As a result, when young kids aren't given that proper nutrition, their minds are stunted; they're physically stunted. Truly, their start in life is one that is debilitating to them. And again, I certainly didn't grow up ever having to worry about where my next meal was coming from. The fact that so many people, even in our own country, worry about something so basic, it's something I really wanted to help do something about.