Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I will not counter the insanity of the PATRIOT Act with an overblown fear of my rights being taken away.
I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.
For the most part, any serious magic show is not using very much technology newer than theatrical lights.
If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.'
Barack Obama is way smarter than Bush - so way, way smarter than me. Obama is way more charismatic than me.
If entertainment ran grocery stores, we'd NEVER get oil cured olives or blue cheese, it would be JUST Coke.
Counterintuitive actions prove we can trust real knowledge and do the opposite of what we feel makes sense.
I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.
...there is a fine line between wishing to produce child-like astonishment and treating people like infants.
I had a natural aptitude for wanting to be the centre of attention and a definite skill for annoying people.
Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That's not morality, that's sucking up.
We aren't people who believe that just because we're performers our opinions on everything need to be known.
As much as I disagreed with every second of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' the fact that it is out made me jump for joy.
I have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.
I was allowed to do whatever made me happy. I can't think of a better or more worthwhile approach to parenting.
When we find ourselves in groups or with charismatic individuals, we might do things we wouldn't ordinarily do.
Magic has both feet planted in cheap vaudeville and childish posturing; in dishonesty and therefore not in art.
I have a couple of dogs and I live with my partner. We just like to sit and read and I'm generally quite quiet.
I've got a house full of taxidermy. It's like a museum. I have about 200 pieces in total, all ethically sourced.
I believe in individual rights so much that I don't like any sort of 'what's good for the cause'-type questions.
If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
To impress people as much as we would wish, we would first need to successfully adopt each of their value systems
I have a very specific definition of censorship. Censorship must be done by the government or it's not censorship.
I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.
Trey Parker did 'Book of Mormon.' It's the best Broadway show I've ever seen. He does 'South Park.' It's wonderful.
My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen.
The most important part of life is work, it's the flow, it's getting stuff done, feeling like you're doing something.
We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that.
My parents were teetotalers and my grandparents were - it's all the way back. It's New English puritanical tradition.
I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight.
'Zolten' is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog.
I really do like being on stage. Compared to television I have a lot more control - it's a lot more relaxed and loose.
I'm a hardcore libertarian - I want everything legal - but I also believe that you have the right to free association.
In music, if you hit a wrong note, people forgive you. In magic when something goes wrong, the entire art is destroyed.
Few kids seek to learn a skill specifically designed to impress people unless they feel less than impressive themselves.
Liberating but hard to remember we're just bit-parts in the lives of people we know, who care very little for our secrets
I don't want to be some extreme therapist. Although seeing someone's life change for the better is a really moving thing.
TV networks are dying. The death throes of religion give us jihads. The death throes of television give us reality shows.
I'm not very sociable. If I get invited to a glamorous event I probably won't go. That world does not really appeal to me.
The process of coming out is normally very disappointing. It's not that people react badly to it - they really don't care.
I'm finally having my TV removed and replaced by a tropical fish tank, which I hope will provide more interesting viewing.
I'm probably more persuasive than the next person if I want to be, but do I want to be? In my head, I just don't go there.
When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.
I didn't learn fire-eating to conquer my fears. I learned fire-eating because I desperately wanted to be in show business.
The big, fun, ambitious ideas tend to come out of the frustration of talking for too long about the smaller, weaselly ones.
People are just passively accepting what you tell them, so if you are on TV there is that greater responsibility to be true.
It's only the losers named Dave that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think. They're named Dave.
'Psycho' is fascinating philosophically, because the point of 'Psycho' is that everything that's bad happens because of love.
Hypocrisy is annoying but not evil. Someone who says one thing and does another has doubled their chances of being half right.