Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Occasions are rare; and those, who know how to seize upon them, are rarer.
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.
Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.
Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something.
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do.
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.
No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
Take from me the hope that I can change the future and you will send me mad.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
The enemy is stupid: he believes that the enemy is us, even though it's him!
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time.
I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.
The past is for inspiration, not imitation, for continuation, not repetition.
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.
I'm half Scotch-Irish on both sides, and when I lose my temper-brother, I go.
The reason God made man before woman was that he didn't want any suggestions.
Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it.
Satire that is seasonable and just is often more effectual than law or gospel.
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
People travel to learn; most of them before they start should learn to travel.
The morning paper is just as necessary for an American as dew is to the grass.
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.
Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
Just as soon as the uplifters get a country reformed it slips into a nose dive.