Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.
There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
How wise are Thy commandments O Lord. Each one of them applies to somebody or other I know.
A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the country.
In the din and tumult of the age, the still small voice of Jerusalem remains our only music.
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.
The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.
Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one.
Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will.
A certain alloy of expediency improves the gold of morality and makes it wear all the longer.
Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks.
The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.
Over the years I have met a lot of important people, but no one as important as Elvis Presley.
Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.
As soon as you tolerate something, it becomes bearable, and before long it will become common.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.
Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of "echo,"--babbling gossips of the air.
I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.
Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.
Censors are necessary, increasingly necessary, if America is to avoid having a vital literature.
When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.