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So this is the only TV show in America where I am quite confident that you, the audience, will share my excitement when I tell you that coming up in our next segment, we have the best graph ever. Best graph ever.
If you look at my life before I went into television, the struggle I went through coming out would be surprising to most people, given how comfortable and how out I am being the only late-night gay talk-show host.
If you are a kid in America, and you live in a secular home and go to public school, you know nothing about Jesus of Nazareth. The only time you hear the word Jesus is when somebody's yelling at you - Jesus, okay?
The only way we can fly planes and use computers is because people were curious about their world and also skeptical about the things they were told to be immutable, so they figured out other ways of doing things.
The mind starts to do things that you didn't even realize it could do. I suppose it's the manipulation. I suppose it's the sense of power, the center of attention, and the me-ism. And performers have to have that.
And we have much better examples of the government not intervening to curtain parental rights, much worse abuse than a simple tap on the hand or a spank is perpetrated by many parents across the country, trust me.
Looking back, I clearly understand that seeing a 'chain of command' approach in my house was a positive thing for me. My father provided a strong point of view on life and was a leader. Boys, especially, need that.
We do have situations where people are being advised not to use their well water. That's a huge problem because you know they're farmers and they rely on that water for their cattle and their horses and their crops.
When I discovered that hexavalent chromium was causing cancer in the town of Hinkley, California, it led to residents being paid $333m in compensation. But, unbelievably, that chemical remains in our drinking water.
The lesson of Pearl Harbor ought never to be forgotten, and of course the motto that came from that, 69 years ago, the war which my dad fought, was 'Remember Pearl Harbor, never again.' We need to keep that to mind.
But there's a reason that we have different laws for juveniles than we do for adults. And it's because kids are not liable for the things they do in the way that adults are, because we think that kids are different.
In this country, the most popular form of car racing is the huge multibillion dollar industry that`s called stock car racing. That`s what NASCAR is. That`s what the SC stands for in the middle of NASCAR, Stock cars.
Even though the weight I'm lifting isn't what it was when I was playing, it's not like I'm not lifting weights that are heavier than the common person would lift. I think a lot of people look at that and say, 'Whoa!'
Chris Christie who proposes accepting Syrian refugee orphans under the age of 5 because they may not be vetted well enough. You can`t trust them. The 5-year-olds might it be terrorists. After all, they`re from Syria.
The primary agency responsible for rallying U.S.-led interests around the world appears to be having the air sucked out of it. If you are Russia and you are looking at that right now, do you love what you are seeing?
You may never have heard of Joseph Overton and his proverbial window but you most certainly have heard the Republican presidential campaign in 2015 year not just flinging the window open but shattering all its glass.
You know, 'Project Runway' was a really special show, and we had a great five seasons with it. We loved that show, and we loved the stories that it brought to Bravo and the creativity. And it was a magic five seasons.
If President Obama wants to keep calling for protests, then that will be his legacy, one of division, rich versus poor, old versus young, black versus white, always dividing. That's what you get under President Obama.
George W. Bush cannot out-talk Al Gore. Period. Mr. Gore thinks faster on his feet and is much more verbal. So if that is the criteria, Gore won the debate. But if that is the criteria, Don Rickles should be President.
Homosexuals are rarely monogamous and have as many as 300 to 1,000 sexual partners over the course of a lifetime. … [T]he risk of sexual abuse in a homosexual household is much greater than in a heterosexual household.
WikiLeaks is a lot of things. This past year, WikiLeaks was a tool of Russian intelligence and the Russian government and their interference operation against the American presidential election to benefit Donald Trump.
I have a constitutional weakness in which I am very easily distracted by flashing lights. If there is a TV on in the room, I can't have a conversation with you. I won't eat, I won't sleep, I'll just meld with my couch.
There comes a time when a human being has to either face evil or admit to allowing it. Abortion is legal in the United States, but it should not be celebrated or used as a political tool. Viable babies are human beings.
Things will only improve when the people - all of us - say to authorities, 'I will hold you responsible.' We should all be showing up at city council meetings, lighting up every community with activism and mobilization.
[Dan fried] is the department`s foremost Russia expert and he, too, is now leaving at a time when arguably the State Department needs it most, the State Department will not have the benefit of his insight going forward.
I always knew I wanted to be in front of the camera. But even after 10 years behind the scenes at CBS News producing live segments, celebrity profiles, and breaking news, I still hadn't been given the chance to be on TV.
There's a very fundamental basic value system that I think America was built upon, and that's mutual respect, honor, integrity and concern for our environment and the right to clean water. And we have moved away from it.
I'm an entertainer; I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
We are gonna to have to choose as a nation between the homosexual agenda and freedom because the two cannot coexist. Every advance of the homosexual agenda, comes at the expense of liberty, particularly religious liberty.
Next year, I hope there will be even more parties, lots of holidays and just having a good time, really. Plus wing-walking, air shows and learning to fly, as they are all things I want to do. I won't be restricted by age.
It's the results that are surprising, even results where we've totally screwed up, and then learned something in the process, are the ones that stand out. Having our preconceptions overturned is actually thrilling for us.
I can't go anywhere without being bugged by somebody. I'd love to just hike out down the street, or drop in a restaurant, or wander in the park, or take my kids somewhere without collecting a trail of people. But I can't.
I like big drinks that aren't afraid of the alcohol in them. Not big in size, but in flavor, and the way I can allow myself to enjoy them is by making them in very small quantities. I make tiny glasses of very big drinks.
If you witness (the problems in the world), your outlook on life will change. You will understand how fortunate and well-off you are, (…). You will understand that you are so safe from the risk of air raids and landmines.
I submit that President Obama and all the democrat politicians that voted for Obamacare never even read the proposed law. Nancy Pelosi admitted it. So, now, when chaos reigns, they act surprised that things aren't working.
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
Today, only 2 percent of the people know the name of someone serving in uniform. That means 2 percent of your listeners can actually conjure up the image of someone wearing the uniform of the military of the United States.
The [Donald] Trump administration got rid of the number one and number two most senior people ahead of [Dan fried] in the foreign service, so that did make him the most senior person still standing - but now he`s out, too.
After Donald Trump`s ban all Muslims proposal, candidate Jeb Bush reacted by calling Mr. Trump unhinged. However, that would be the same Jeb Bush who says we should only allow refugees into this country who are Christians.
I will be the 43-year-old guy in the jumpsuit. In my estimation and my image of myself is that I am 23 and can get away with it. If I didn't have the show, I would be in one right now. It would be denim, but I love a terry.
I was going to hang it up on the twenty-fifth year of this show. I don't know why. Maybe twenty-five years is enough. And I found out that I was having so much fun doing the show that we decided to stick around for a while.
John McCain from the very beginning has been unflinchingly loyal to Sarah Palin. He has never thrown her under the bus. He has never conceded it was a bad decision to pick her. He has never ever said a bad word against her.
Every company in America should be on its knees thanking Jesus for being born. Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable. More than enough reason for business to be screaming 'Merry Christmas.'
You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.
There is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.
For me, being green means cleaning up the water. Water is the key. Start with water. You can't ignore the fact that that nearly 80% of US waterways are potentially poisoned - benzene, solvents, heavy metals, pharmaceuticals.
Well, one of the myths early on that I think is one of the funnier things we've done is airline toilet seats. That one was about a large woman that sat down on a seat in an airline and flushed the toilet and got stuck on it.
You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience; so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
I think scandal probably attracted more American attention to Formula 1 than anything else in American news in decades. And that`s because it was a sex scandal, a particularly lurid sex scandal involving this guy Max Mosley.
I'm not going to change. Why would I change? I don't tweet like Donald Trump. I'm not on Facebook. I should amend that. I don't attack people using tweets, and I don't do the Facebook and I'm not going to - that's not my job.