Right now in Oregon anybody can open a saloon, and hire people to come in and have sex in front of their patrons.

Every time someone says, 'You know, we really ought to get together,' if I were really honest, I would ask 'Why?'

My hair was falling out so I got in the habit of wearing a hat. And I didn't like baseball caps so I got a beret.

Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.

My husband acts and I have such respect for those that do it well, that I wouldn't even try to pretend I can act.

If anybody says their facelift doesn't hurt, they're lying. It was like I'd spent the night with an axe murderer.

He [Barak Obama]'s a guy from Chicago. He doesn't know what the hell to do. He's got a big pipe with a hole in it.

If some heterosexual wants to be gay, so what? Let him go. It's less competition for the heterosexual single guys.

How you look has become ridiculously disproportionate to what you do. Critics are more harsh on female presenters.

A Commander-in-Chief needs to do two things. One - tell us who the enemy is. And two - say we are fighting to win.

The Democratic Party likes to remind people that the Russian force around that was very strong, remarkably strong.

The goal of higher education should be to champion the airing of all honest viewpoints. Nothing less is acceptable.

I was a middle child and was used to negotiating. But there was nothing I could do to reverse my mothers condition.

As a grandmother, I've learned that you can't buy love. But your grandchildren are disappointed when you don't try.

My ultimate goal is for that next generation coming up, who didn't see me play, go, 'Oh, he used to play football?'

I'm a Christian. I was born and raised a Catholic. But I think there are people that are frauds that are ministers.

I always wanted to be an anchorman, but after college I wound up working behind the scenes at CBS News for 10 years.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

I was a middle child and was used to negotiating. But there was nothing I could do to reverse my mother's condition.

Whatever you dream is you find a way to get there, even if you're not paid a lot. Do it for the love of what you do.

It won't take weeks... Our military machine will crush Iraq in a matter of days and there's no question that it will.

If you don't provide a product that is satisfying people, no matter what your ideology, they tell you to take a hike.

Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

I have the best memories as a kid eating ice cream. It was a family tradition that I had with my father. It was nice.

History and war are cruel pedants. Those who know too little of the former are likely to have too much of the latter.

There's no way to tweak your content in order to goose ratings. You do what you're good at and let people follow you.

Forced federal registration of U.S. citizens based on religious identity is fascism, period. Nothing else to call it.

I'm from California, I know what's up with this. You keep raising people's taxes eventually they are going to say no.

I cannot believe the volume of famous people I run into in my life, and that's part of the reason I love diary format.

Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that. You can't explain why the tide goes in.

Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.

One of the main reasons for success on the show is that we're not a demonstration show. We're an experimentation show.

I am here to accept responsibility for that which I did. I will not accept responsibility for that which I did not do.

[Tom Cotton] has been an absolute champion of the idea of getting rid of Obamacare, scrapping the Affordable Care Act.

Flint and its lead contaminated water are now the focus of sustained national attention including political attention.

I have a file of letters and bits of ephemera from friends who have died. I have had lots of friends who died of AIDS.

We came, we saw, we bedazzled! You know, and it's hard to be serious and thoughtful when you're dressed like a Skittle.

I was an accidental model. One day I was asked to me a model by a neighbor who was short on models. Then I got into TV.

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.

We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.

If caregivers are not healthy, mentally well-balanced and spiritually sound, then those for whom they care will suffer.

There is no time so short as the time between when your kids stop wrecking your furniture and your grandchildren start.

In the main, ghosts are said to be forlorn and generally miserable, if not downright depressed. The jolly ghost is rare.

I felt bad when George Bush was booed. But only briefly. My sympathy for that man has a half-life of about four seconds.

Life is full of challenges. How you handle these challenges is what builds character. Never be afraid to be who you are.

Pepper spray, a Taser, a suckling pig and a self-built motorized spit. It's a perfect Thanksgiving, 'MythBusters'-style.

There are a couple of scenes in David Lynch's 'Dune' that I loved - again, small things but inspired and elegantly done.

I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and the fact that I make money at it - big money - is a fine-and-dandy side fact.

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