Everyone has played video games at some point these days, and video games are fun.

The Republican Party of 2005 bears no resemblance to the Republican Party of 1994.

I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

Whenever you come across a screw-up this big, you know the government is behind it.

I'd like to move Israel to the northern border of Mexico and see what happens then.

Luckily, voting machines register only 'yes' or 'no,' not 'yes, but I hate myself'.

Boredom turns a man to sex, a woman to shopping, and it drives newscasters berserk.

Where is the Marco Rubio bump everyone was promised? And it doesn`t look very good.

As the seconds tick down, Belgium are literally playing in time that doesn't exist.

When I was a kid and L.S.U. lost, you didn't read the papers until, like, Thursday.

Gary Lineker has now scored 37 goals. That is precisely twice as many as last year.

I think Rahm Emanuel is now defunct as any sort of a surrogate for Hillary Clinton.

I never think too far into the future. I'm too busy thinking about tomorrow's news.

Mr. President, I love you, but you're wrong. (To Richard Nixon, on the Vietnam War)

Everything you use in a modern life style has to be made using a tool of some sort.

I'm just not sure I trust the federal government not to trample on civil liberties.

You want people with different life experiences as a backstop against bad decision.

And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season

My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.

If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have known he was a victim of racism.

Any Republican who says he can work with Hillary Clinton is a traitor to the nation.

My goodness, that wee ball's gone so high there'll be snow on it when it comes down.

As is always the case when peace takes precedence over liberty, neither is achieved.

I've never heard anybody [of president's candidates] talk about the poorly educated.

In life, as in death, Pope John Paul II was one of the most visible people on Earth.

We are primarily the products of thinking that happens below the level of awareness.

If you want to be angry at Gore, be angry at him for not fighting harder in Florida.

I always find it offensive when people say God showers riches on you if you're good.

Giggs drops deep into that Sheringham position where he can turn and ride defenders.

Look, the justice system is made up of people. People have faults. It's not perfect.

Our challenge is to find the compassion for others that we want them to have for us.

Senator McConnell is by all accounts a decent person. He's pretty conservative, too.

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.

That is the theme of the Million Mom March: 'I don't need a brain - I've got a womb'.

We should be fingerprinting environmentalists... They are out to destroy the country.

Those two volleys really could be the story of this match summed up at the end of it.

Donald Trump said it was his idea for [Sarah] Palin to bring up her son at the rally.

At best, Trumpism will be a more right-wing version of the same old Republican Party.

Lombardi, Shula, Landry and Gibbs were innovators. Bill Walsh was a visionary . . . .

When you have a child victim, I don't think cameras should be in the courtroom, ever.

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.

The indignation of politicians is NOT a good measure of the gravity of any situation.

I started as a stand-up comedian. I wanted to be Carol Burnett when I was growing up.

Could you do a liberal propaganda tool that would bore the bejesus out of people? No.

I'm such a sap for democracy and politics that I get weepy when I see anybody voting.

To call me a partisan hack is ludicrous. [...] I am the least partisan person I know.

Yuppies don't have loyalty. They have useful relationships and meaningful encounters.

[Donald ] Trump is more important than all of us. He's more important than the media.

As the leader of twelve apostles, even Jesus had more executive experience than Obama.

My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the 'New York Times' Building.

Share This Page