Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you surround yourself with a bunch of guys who no mas se quieren puro pari and are like, "Aaah, let's go get some chicks." Guess what? That's going to slow you down and keep your head somewhere else.
Finding places to perform was definitely the biggest challenge. Trying to find my voice over the years was a big thing because when I started I was just doing characters and impressions and that was it.
My fashion was not the best in the '80s. I looked crazy as hell. I used to wear my pants tucked into my socks and karate handkerchiefs around my wrist. It was ridiculous, how I used to dress in the '80s.
People understand when I talk about my son not listening, or issues at home or his real dad coming back into the picture, or even stories about family members not seeing eye to eye with what you're doing.
I'm so respectful of good writing. It's the blueprint for the movie. You have to have that script there because, if you don't, you're going to have problems. It's very important. It's also a gut instinct.
I heard that I was gay before, and I was like "Really?" And then I started thinking: You haven't really made it unless somebody says you're gay. And I was like, "hm. I'm not gay, but thanks for the rumor!"
Once I started doing specials I always incorporated "Fluffy" into it. But with Stand-Up Revolution, I left it out because I want it to be different for people. I'm there, yes, but it's something different.
Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback.
I didn't like the King's Cross world: it was grimy and dirty. I always envisioned myself in much more romantic and grand surroundings. I never really thought that I belonged to the working-class area at all.
TV show's really quick. You're in, you're out. A film usually takes a lot longer. However, a voiceover is very much like TV in the sense that it's really quick. For example, I did the movie Planes in one day.
The first time I got on stage I was 10 years old and I did impressions. I did cartoon characters and I really got the bug for this life when I saw that people were laughing and saw the attention I was getting.
There is a great power within that when used in beauty and immaculate purity can cure and heal and cause miracles. When you use it it spreads like a magic garden and when you do not use it it recedes from you.
It's not an overnight thing. I can legitimately say I've been working my ass off for a long time and the fact that I'm getting this concert movie is perfect because it's coming at just the right time in my life.
Jeff Foxworthy had that whole "You might be a redneck" thing; Larry the Cable Guy had "Git-R-Done." Some comics have that hook. Dane Cook had that super finger. So I just caught on early on. I ran with "Fluffy."
I've already produced one hour specials for other comedians and I have a TV show called Stand Up Revolution where I showcase new talent and so I'd like to continue to do stuff like that and help out the next guy.
There's nowhere in the country that I can't go or won't go. I think it's because I've worked on making my show where everyone can understand it, everyone can relate to it, and no one feels like I'm alienating them.
As a comedian, especially one that works as much as I do, there is a lot of sacrifice. People don't see that I'm away from my family 46 weeks out of the year. I miss all the birthdays and anniversaries and holidays.
I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.
Be personal, and original. Try to work clean. Stay away from topical material, as it does not allow you to craft it to make it better for later. And always remember that it is the fans who will make you or break you.
As far as "uncut" I think we all know that you guys cut up the special. Originally it was going to be 2 hours plus and it got chopped down so I said "we can't use those words because it's not going to represent me right".
The best advice I never got. I don't know if it would have done any good, but to be more confident with girls in school. I actually had a couple of girlfriends, but I was still pretty timid and it was hard to ask girls out.
The flowers, the gorgeous, mystic multi-coloured flowers are not the flowers of life, but people, yes people are the true flowers of life, and it has been a most precious pleasure to have temporarily strolled in your garden.
I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.
I had to babysit a lot when I was in high school, and I missed a lot of parties. I felt this longing, like, 'Oh no, I'm going to miss meeting the love of my life at that party!' I feel like that's very Mary Katherine Gallagher.
'Saturday Night Live' is a very particular beast. What it celebrates are individuals who can stand out. I did good work there, but going onstage and saying, 'Hey! Hey! Look at me! Aren't I funny?' - that just wasn't my instinct.
Only when all images of Earth are hushed and the clamor of the senses be stilled, and the soul has passed beyond thought of self, can the eternal wisdom be revealed to the mystic who seeks that highest communion with the unseen.
Safety was not a big thing when I was growing up. A seat belt was something that got in the way: 'Ma, the seat belt is digging into my back.' 'Stuff it down into the seat. And roll those windows up, you're letting the smoke out'
People need to be peppered or even outraged occasionally. Our national comedy and drama is packed with earthy familiarity and honest vulgarity. Clean vulgarity can be very shocking and that, in my view, gives greater involvement.
As long as you have a director, that's your feedback. It's the director telling you, "Okay. That was great! Okay. Can we add a little? Can you tweak it like this? Can you make it more high pitched? Can you give it a little growl?"
I've definitely read stuff that I've been offered where I've been like, 'I can't do this. I think somebody would be better in this than me.' I don't want to do something if I don't feel like I can do a good job serving the material.
If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."
I'm a big fan of Kiss. Gene Simmons, he's all into marketing and branding. You name it, there's some type of product with Kiss' name on it. Studying people like that, you see guys have hooks and there are reasons people are successful.
After college, I went to Alley Theatre in Houston to work in their apprentice actor program. I thought I was gonna get discovered. It didn't happen. I moved back to Germantown, Tennessee, outside of Memphis, and taught at my old high school.
I used to want to be a computer programmer when I was younger. We got an Apple II Plus when I was, like, 11 and I wrote programs and BASIC on that, like I think a lot of people did, but I have no idea how to program in the current languages at all.
I think I always was a bit of a class clown, but I don't know how successful I was at that. I always think, when I read about people being class clowns, I imagine them being actually very funny, and I don't know that I was. But I tried to be, I think.
You know, a lot of people think that just 'cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were.
Social media has definitely changed the game for me. I am able to connect to my fans on twitter and interact with them, daily. YouTube has been a game changer as well - people around the world have been exposed to my comedy through my YouTube channel.
The Ford Flex is a really, really cool car. You get inside and you have so much headroom and it's really comfortable to drive and it's real techy inside. You look at the screen and it's blue and you've got all kinds of controls. Everything is digital.
A genial and cultured Arab, Ameen Rihani, whose English is perfect and whose eloquence is astounding. He will discuss with equal eagerness and knowledge the merits of Picasso or Van Gogh, or the Zionist question, or the British achievements in Arabia.
I lead a very normal life. I'm just so happy being a mother that everything else revolves around that. If a movie falls through or a TV show doesn't get picked up, I'm pretty easygoing about it because I'm just like, 'Yay, I get to be with my kids more!'
With the beginning of a great & compassionate love, comes the growth of one's heart, and with that, a profound inner change. The way to opening the mind is often first through the heart. And once is the mind & heart are open, so many things become possible.
She's true to herself and she's determined. She has things going against her, but she forges ahead despite all of that. I think that's encouraging. She's got some problems, but she has hope and tries to plow through things. I think that's a good role model.
I went to NYU drama school, so I was a very serious actress. I used to do monologues with a Southern accent, and I was really into drama and drama school. And then, in my last year of drama school, I did a comedy show, and the show became a big hit on campus.
You really get a feeling, when you're reading scripts, pretty quickly. Within 20 or 25 pages, you can get a sense of the part. I always think about whether I'm right for it and whether I can do it. If I don't think I'm right for it, it should go to somebody else.
I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'
With this show [Stand-Up Revolution ], I loved the idea that I would be picking the talent that goes on, not the network. It was me handpicking people who might not have gotten the chance to be on TV. So, I thought it was real cool that I was putting people up there.
I'm never home. I miss birthdays. I miss holidays. I miss anniversaries. I miss special moments. I'm not always there for important times, because I'm out on the road trying to make people laugh. I give up my privacy. I give up the ability to walk somewhere and relax.
I go on the road all the time, but I'm only performing for two hours a night, and then I'll do a meet-and-greet, and then I'll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I'm in the next city.
I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it.
The best advice bro: is think big, as big as you can possibly think, and shoot for that. The bigger you aim for, the bigger you're going to be. Set the standards for yourself as high as you possibly can and also surround yourself with people who have the same visions you have.