Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The only way I will do a sitcom is if it's hurled at me, and I don't have to work for it.
And I take full responsibility for my actions and whatever consequences my peers see fit.
When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds.
If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.
As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else.
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.
My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know.
I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.
I don't want to do something, if I don't feel like I can do a good job serving the material.
The makeup person said oh my God what happened to you? I looked like I was in a car accident.
I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board.
If you Google the word "fluffy," I'm the first thing that pops up. It's me, dogs and rabbits.
I'm not selling out, denying who I am or where I've come from, not at all. I acknowledge that.
It's anticipated that Hurricane Rita will still be a Category 3 storm when it hits Port Arthur.
Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.
Trying to be like my uncle, because I was an only child. He and my cousins were everything to me.
I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.
I found that if I got up on the stage to entertain the troops I could make them shut up and look.
I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it.
A fan club is a group of people who tell an actor hes not alone in the way he feels about himself.
One of my favorite eras is the '80s. I'm an '80s baby to the world, love everything about the '80s.
Surround yourself with supportive people. All the negative people, man you have to push them aside.
A fan club is a group of people who tell an actor he's not alone in the way he feels about himself.
I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.
To be cool is to believe. To stay cool is to have the sweet fragments of serenity rock your wig away.
You've got to watch your mind all the time or you'll awaken and find a strange picture on your press.
I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.
I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.
There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.
Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part.
My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.
[Making people laugh] was a secret dream I kept and I didn't tell anybody about it until I was about 18.
I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.
I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.
I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
It was Noel Coward whose technique I envied and tried to emulate. I collected all his records and writing.
I'm no way one of those comedians who want to do drama. I really do love comedies. I hope to go back to it.
I wonder if anyone will ever know the emptiness of my life. Personal Diary -- Last entry Oh whats the point?
I certainly struggled when I was little and didn't have an easy time, so I try to put that stuff in my work.
In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.
I got on the high school speech team and everyday I would get up in front of the class and just start talking.
They say Im demonic in humor in the sense that I think people need somebody to wake up their mental processes.
Without a doubt, the worst part of being a mom is having to floss my kids' teeth every night. It's so tedious.
I never think I want to try to be funny. And humor, if there is anything funny, should come from a real place.
I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try.
Nobody knows how long you're going to have life on Earth, so you really have to work at being joyous and happy.
To be a teacher you have to have a very giving, selfless personality. I don't think I'm that selfless and giving.
I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere.
I can't give my phone number out. My phone number would be everywhere - everybody and their mom would be calling me.