Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.
Self-doubt kills talent.
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
You spell Bob Hope C-L-A-S-S.
John Hughes loved improvisers.
self-pity is better than none.
I'm not funny. What I am is brave.
Few things focus the mind like fear.
I'm not frightened of a bit of silence.
Continue to study and learn new skills.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
Responsibility is the ability to respond.
Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.
I got everybody on my side through comedy.
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.
You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.
The more things you do, the more you can do.
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
I dont understand boys - just ask my husband.
I don't like tea! Never have, never drunk it.
My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
I don't understand boys - just ask my husband.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
If I'm hunting down gifts, I like to buy locally.
Ability is of little account without opportunity.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Love yourself first and everything falls into line.
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Now get the hell out of here and go change the world.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
