Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I don't watch reality TV.
Life is a series of dogs.
Sudden total weight loss.
A pear is a failed apple.
Your home is your refuge.
Camelot is a silly place.
Humor is reason gone mad.
I am beloved by millions.
I like definitive things.
I met the CEO of Twitter.
I can't abide small talk.
Life isn't all haha hehe.
I love the Marx Brothers.
I was a precocious child.
I don't believe in karma.
I mean, I love Comic-Con.
What do batteries run on?
I have a thing for tools.
Sometimes I like to vent.
Love does not conquer all.
I live way below my means.
George Bush hates midgets.
Born free. Taxed to death.
I'm an introspective dude.
The world is fed by greed.
How can I die? I'm booked.
"No comment" is a comment.
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
Always do whatever's next.
Jesus was a cross-dresser.
If I had blood, I'd blush.
I drink to forget I drink.
We have fossils... We win!
Pain is funnier than love.
I always live tweet 'SNL.'
Boredom is a disease, too.
I'm as clean as a whistle.
I never met a kid I liked.
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Most modern comedy is crap.
I was a bad boy as a child.
I hate all generalisations.
I love Australia - I think.
I have a very vivid memory.
I am invisible in gay bars.
You grow older, you evolve.
Don't worry, I'm hilarious.
Hollywood's just not funny.
People love gentle larceny.
Agriculture is the new golf